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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25572883">Catalina I de Castilla, Queen and Empress</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AinhoaGCH/pseuds/AinhoaGCH'>AinhoaGCH</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Tudors (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:47:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,737</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25572883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AinhoaGCH/pseuds/AinhoaGCH</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you've been mistreated by history and no one seems to remember your name for who you are providence will give you the so deserved chance to go down as the most powerful woman in history, with or without Henry by your side, but it won't be easy. He's known for getting what he wants, no costs spared.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Catherine of Aragon/Henry VIII of England, Catherine of Aragon/Thomas More</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For those who are history lovers I must tell you that I’ve modified the birth dates of some of the children of Juana la Loca and a few other characters. I shall leave a guide of birth and death dates down below so you can understand how the story goes.<br/>-Juan de Aragón (1497)<br/>-Isabel de Aragón (1498)<br/>-Juana I de Castilla (1517) married to Felipe el Hermoso (1516)<br/>-Leonor de Austria (1498-1558) Queen of Portugal and France<br/>-Carlos I de España (1507-1558)<br/>-Isabel de Austria (1501-1526) Queen of Denmark, Sweden and Norway. <br/>-Fernando I of the Holy Roman Empire (1503-1564)<br/>-Maria of Hungary (1505-1558) Queen consort of Hungary<br/>-Catalina of Austria (1507-1578) Queen of Portugal.<br/>-Maria of Aragon (1517) Queen of Portugal<br/>-Catalina de Aragón, Queen of England (1485-)<br/>-Maria I (1517-1558) Queen of England<br/>-Fernando II of Aragon (1516)<br/>-Anne Boleyn (1500-)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Putting the brush down on her vanity Catherine looked up to look at her reflection on the mirror, her robe tight around her figure. As she called for her maids to come in, her friend and lady in waiting Maria de Salinas handed her a letter that she saw had come from Portugal, from her sister Maria. Knowing that almost none of her maids could read Spanish, Henry had made sure all the Spanish maids had been dismissed along the years except for Lady de Salinas, she opened it as they went around taking the corset from a drawer and a dress from her wardrobe.</p><p>Querida hermana,</p><p>Sé que no te escribo desde hace mucho tiempo, pero las cosas aquí han cambiado tras el nacimiento de los niños y me temo que no he encontrado tiempo para escribirte ni una palabra. Desde lo más profundo de mi corazón me veo en la obligación de informarte de que nuestro padre, Fernando, falleció a principios del año pasado. Supongo que el embajador Chapuys ya te lo habrá dicho, pero siento que es mi deber. Otra noticia que me temo también es de gran tristeza es que nuestra hermana Juana ha quedado viuda. Felipe falleció en septiembre, aunque no parecía que le afligiera ningún mal. No sé cuando te llegará esta carta, pero espero que sea antes del comienzo del próximo año para que puedas asistir al entierro y podamos consolar el corazón roto de nuestra hermana ahora que nuestros padres no están y nuestra hermana Isabel está con ellos.</p><p>Nuevas más felices son que he dado a luz a un hijo varón de nombre Antonio. Tiene pocos días, y aunque es algo más pequeño que sus otros hermanos los médicos dicen que llegará a ser un joven guapo e inteligente. Yo sin embargo me siento muy débil y lamento que mi vida llegará pronto a su fin. No quiero que al leer estas líneas sientas compasión o tristeza por mí, pues he vivido una vida plena y mis hijos me han dado toda la alegría del mundo, pero si quiero que reces por mi en tus plegarías pues sé que es la manera más divina y bonita en la que me puedes recordar sin llorar.</p><p>Debo terminar está carta, pues mi hijo me reclama, pero si antes de que nos veamos otra vez he dejado este mundo terrenal quiero que sepas que siempre te querré, mi querida hermana pequeña.</p><p>María de Aragón, Reina de Portugal y tu adorada hermana</p><p>(My beloved sister,</p><p>I know that I haven't written to you in a long time, but things have changed since the birth of the children and I'm afraid that I haven't found the time to write not even a single word. From the bottom of my heart, I've found myself in the duty of having to tell you that our father, Fernando, passed away at the beginning of last year. I suppose that ambassador Chapuys would have already told you, but I feel like it's my duty. Another piece of mournful news is that our sister Juana has become a widow. Felipe passed in September even though he didn't look as if he suffered from any illness. I don't know when this letter will reach you but I hope it's before the beginning of next year so you can attend his funeral and we can comfort the broken heart of our sister now that our parents are gone and our sister Isabel is with them.</p><p>A piece of happier news is that I've given birth to a son whose name is Antonio. He's just a few days old and even though he is smaller than his siblings the physicians believe that he'll grow into a handsome and smart young man. I, on the other hand, feel very weak and I'm afraid that my life will soon end. I don't want you to feel compassion or sadness when you read this lines, for I have lived a full life and my children have brought me all the joy in the world, but I do want you to have me in your prayers for I know that is the most divine and beautiful way you can remember me without crying.</p><p>I must finish this letter since my son is asking for me, but if I were to leave this earth before we see each other again I would like you to know that I will always love you, my beloved younger sister.</p><p>Maria of Aragon, Queen of Portugal and your adoring sister.)</p><p>The words pierced her heart as she read it, Maria's handwriting soft and small, just like she remembered. Carefully, as if she was afraid the words might fade before her, she read the letter again, her chest constricting in a way she had only felt when her mother and children passed as she read the words carefully. One of the maids was about to start on her but she felt as if she couldn't breathe, as if there was no air in the room, so she raised her hand, everyone stopping right where they were. The room fell into a very deep silence as the Queen looked up, tears forming in her eyes, gasping quietly for air.</p><p>-What is it, your Majesty? – Lady de Salinas approached her lady; afraid she might feel indisposed.</p><p>-Maria wrote to me. – she grabbed Lady de Salinas hand, the touch comforting her very little.</p><p>-What did her majesty Queen Maria write in her letter that has upset you so your Majesty?</p><p>-Ambassador Chapuys didn't tell me that my father had died last year nor that my brother in law did as well.</p><p>-His royal Highness Fernando II of Aragon has died? – the anguish in Maria's voice only made her heartache even more, but she understood how much it upset her, she had been devoted to her parents.</p><p>-Yes, Maria, he's left this world, and no one cared to tell me. Just the same way no one told me of the birth of my sister's tenth child, a boy called Antonio. When did this letter arrive?</p><p>-This morning your Majesty. The boy that brought it said that it had taken him so long to deliver it because the ship sank and only a few of the letters survived, yours among them your Majesty.</p><p>-Where's the ambassador?</p><p>-In the hall your Majesty.</p><p>-Bring him to me.</p><p>With a gentle vow, Lady de Salinas left the room, the rest of the maids still waiting for their Queen to give them any sign as to what she wanted, but Catherine seemed to have forgotten all about them, her full attention on the piece of parchment that she held close to her heart, her eyes looking at the rain and dark clouds that filled the sky through the window. At the sound of the door, she lifted her head, a deep sad expression covering her face.</p><p>-You wished to see me, your Majesty.</p><p>-When were you going to tell me? – she tried very hard to control her anger as she looked at him, but it proved too difficult so her voice found itself filled with venom as she spoke.</p><p>-I don't believe I understand your Majesty.</p><p>-When were you going to tell me about my father, my sister, my nephew…</p><p>-The Spanish Court didn't wish for you to travel to Spain in your condition, that's why it was kept from you.</p><p>-I'm not pregnant anymore, it's been two months and still, you kept it to yourself.</p><p>-The Court wanted to sort some things out before… informing you.</p><p>-He was my father first and king second. I deserved to know and therefore be at his funeral as well as I was supposed to comfort my sister when she lost her husband, but you didn't tell me.</p><p>-I was told not to inform you because certain things needed to be taken care of that involved your Majesty. I was against it from the very beginning, but I was forced to follow orders.</p><p>-What things have you kept from me or are you still unable to tell me? – she stood up and walked towards him, anger fuming from every pore in her body.</p><p>-Your Majesty, I have news coming from Spain.</p><p>-Do tell me ambassador Chapuys before I send you away.</p><p>-I hope I don't sound indiscreet, but I would like to know who told you about such grave news if it's not too inconvenient, your Majesty.</p><p>-My sister Queen Maria sent me a letter that took several months to reach me. She said that my brother in law Felipe has passed away quite unexpectedly along with my father.</p><p>-I'm afraid that in her grief and despair your sister Juana passed away just a few weeks ago as well.</p><p>-And when were you going to tell me that?! – she felt betrayed, deprived of such information that involved her beloved family. All of a sudden, she had found herself an orphan, three of her siblings no longer among the living. -What about her children?</p><p>-Your sister gave birth to twins nine years ago, the girl who she named after you has been staying with the Marquis of Denis since it happened, but her son, Charles has been sent to Flanders. Leonor is due to marry soon, Isabel got married two years ago and Fernando has been taken to Austria. There are plans for him to learn German.</p><p>-Given Fernando's age shouldn't he be in Spain being crowned? – she turned away, walking to the window, some of the anger turning into worry. What would happen to her home, her land now?</p><p>-He could claim the crown as well as Leonor, but in Juana's will, it is explained that Carlos is the first in line, regardless of age or sex.</p><p>-Why?</p><p>-Fernando is supposed to marry the sister of the King of Hungary and create an alliance but he can't be crown king, he was not raised for it.</p><p>-But he is the oldest.</p><p>-It has already been decided I'm afraid. The Court will not change their plans, your Majesty.</p><p>-But Charles is too young, he can't be king, not yet.</p><p>-That's why I'm here. The next in line would be your sister Maria and her children since the rest of Juana's children already have a propose, but she has been of poor health lately and refused the crown for herself and her children before she… passed away as well.</p><p>-Maria is dead? – she had always been such a great help to her throughout her entire life ever since they had been little and just a few minutes ago she had been reading her letter thinking she was fine and happy in her home only to find out it was a lie, a lie she hadn't know she had created in her mind.</p><p>-I just found out about this news. Apparently, her son made her very weak, and shortly after the death of the child, she passed as well. I'm very sorry you have suffered so many losses in such a short time, your Majesty.</p><p>-Then that leaves me as the only heir alive? – having been the last to be born she had never been even considered for the crown, she had been prepared to become a wife and Queen to Arthur and after his death, Henry. She had seen how her sisters Isabel and Juana were raised to become great people as well as her brother, but never María and her.</p><p>-Yes, your Majesty. If you accept it, you'll be the Queen of Spain.</p><p>-And if I don't?</p><p>-Then we'll have to search for the descendants of your parents' siblings who know nothing about the crown or royalty until Charles comes off age and hope that they give him the crown when the time comes.</p><p>-It is my duty, isn't it? – she was obviously terrified, the thought of being a real Queen scared her to no end, but she had always been proud of being the daughter of Isabel I of Castile and Fernando II of Aragon, the greatest's monarchs to have ever lived, and if they were alive she knew it would be an honour and what was expected from her.</p><p>-It's up to you your Majesty. If you accept, you'll be Queen of Spain and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire.</p><p>-Empress? – to her knowledge, Felipe, Juana's husband was the heir to the Holy Roman Empire but as far as Henry had allowed her to know since they got married it was a kingdom of its own.</p><p>-The Empire belongs now to the Spanish crown because of the marriage between your sister Juana to Felipe. You'll be the most powerful woman on God's green Earth as well as Queen of England. Your daughter Mary will be Queen of England, Spain, and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire if you accept.</p><p>-As an Infanta de España, it is my duty to my crown and my parents that I accept and rule over the land that they ruled before me. Tell the Spanish Court that I accept.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty.</p><p>-Before you go, - as she turned her head to look back at him from her spot close to the window, she could have sworn she had got a glimpse from her mother in a corner. She blinked but there was no one there, it was probably her mind playing tricks. - never again keep such news to yourself. Never. This is my family and you have kept from me the deaths of every single member of it. People I cherished with all my heart and who will never return. I want you to go and apologise in my behalf to their descendants and spouses, I don't care how long it takes you, just do it. And please, bring me back any belongings that you are allowed to take so I can remember them, now that I know that they are gone.</p><p>-I bid you farewell until I have news from Spain. – with a deep vow, he left her private chambers, Maria's letter still in Catalina's hand. She knew this day would come, but she hadn't expected that her entire family would leave her so quickly and so close to each other. She was all that was left from her clan, her history, Spain's history. It terrified her that she would never be able to ask anyone for help, never would see her sisters again, or her father. No one.</p><p>She hadn't felt it as she had been too deep in thought, but she was now crying silently, grief overtaking her entire being. Lady de Salinas asked everyone to leave, staying with her long-life friend. There was no need for words, she could see perfectly how much that news had hurt her, how much she would miss them. In normal circumstances, it would not have been allowed, but Catherine needed a friend, a shoulder to cry on, it was well passed that stage with Henry since the death of their three boys so he couldn't ask him for support so María took her back to her vanity. Catherine had no control over her emotions, her cries and wails could be heard down the hall as she clung to Maria's sleeves trying to find some comfort as if something could perhaps numb her, but the pain was too great.</p><p>-I'm so sorry your Majesty. I'll be here for as long as you need me. Shhhhh, it'll be alright.</p><p>-Me han dejado María, se han marchado. (They left me Maria; they are gone)</p><p>-Lo sé, pero el señor los ha llamado, su momento ha llegado su Majestad. (I know, but the Lord has called them, their moment has come your Majesty)</p><p>-No, no… No deberían… María, ¿por qué se van? ¿Por qué? (No, no… They shouldn't… María, why do they leave? Why?)</p><p>-El señor los ha llamado, no puedo darla una explicación sobre como funciona la divina providencia. (The Lord has called them; I can't explain to you how providence works)</p><p>- ¿Como es que nadie me dijo nada, nada…? (How can it be that no one told me anything, anything…?)</p><p>A knock on the door disturbed them, a young boy popping his head through the threshold. Catherine didn't let go of María's sleeves but raised her head to look at who dared disturb her in such trying times.</p><p>-I'm sorry to disturb you your Majesty, but the King has returned from his early hunt and requests that you have breakfast with him.</p><p>-Tell his Majesty that I'm no condition to eat with him. – resting her head against Maria's chest again, her voice came out cold, quiet. -Leave, leave, please.</p><p>The boy quickly closed the door, running down all the way to the King's chambers. Catherine on the other hand just couldn't shake the feeling that life was over for her, all alone in the world without anyone to help her if she fell, teach her, guide her, be there, just be there. She just couldn't understand why it hurt so much, it felt as if she couldn't breath as more tears fell, soaking Maria's dress. The sound of strong footsteps filled the hall as the King trotted to Catherine's chambers, anger had filled his body after he had heard the answer the boy had brought him. Didn't even bother to knock on the door, he just burst in ready to yell at her but stopped in his tracks when he saw her sitting on the floor, Catherine having fallen from her vanity chair, still grabbing Maria.</p><p>-Catherine? – she didn't answer nor moved, just continued crying in desperation. – Catherine, answer me.</p><p>-With all due respect your Majesty, it's best if you don't pressure her.</p><p>-Why would I answer to you? Catherine, stand up.</p><p>-Go. – her muffled voice reached his ears in between her sobs.</p><p>-What did you just say?</p><p>-Go. Go. Go! – she stood up, her face tear-stained and her eyes red from crying, hair dishevelled and her robe almost undone as she ran to him, hitting him on the chest over and over again with her fists, the strength of each punch growing weaker and weaker. – Go. Go. Don't go.</p><p>Dropping to her knees she covered her face with her hands, Henry staring at her stunned, unable to say a word as he watched his wife. He had never seen her like this, not even when their children had passed. Maria rushed to the Queen, taking her in her arms again as she let her cry. He could have left, he could have turned around and let her cry, but he found himself kneeling before her worried about what could have got her in such a state.</p><p>-Catherine, please, tell me what's wrong.</p><p>-If I may speak your Majesty, I do believe I'll be able to answer your question. Her Majesty doesn't seem to be ready to talk at all.</p><p>-Do tell me Lady de Salinas. What has got my wife in such a state?</p><p>-She just received a letter from her sister Maria, the Queen of Portugal, and apparently, ambassador Chapuys has been keeping information from her. Her father, Fernando II of Aragon, passed away at the beginning of last year, but her sister Juana I of Castile and her husband Felipe have also died, a few months ago.</p><p>-I knew about her father but I thought she knew. I didn't bring it up in case she was grieving. It did strike me as odd that she didn't go to the funeral, but now I understand. No one ever told her.</p><p>-But there's more your Majesty. Her beloved sister Maria passed away a few weeks ago and so did her new-born son.</p><p>-So many deaths. Oh, Catherine, if I had known.</p><p>-She just talked with the ambassador as to why he didn't tell her, but he said that the Spanish Court had told him not to because they were solving some matters. Her Majesty is the only living heir of the Spanish crown and out of duty towards her homeland, she has accepted it.</p><p>-She's the Queen of Spain?</p><p>-Queen of Spain, England, and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire.</p><p>-I have to go but I'll return in a few hours to see if she's feeling better. Take care of her Lady de Salinas.</p><p>-I will your majesty.</p><p>Vowing her head, she saw him leaving the Queen's chambers, but her attention soon returned to the woman that cried in her arms. Carefully she managed to take the letter from her hand, thankful that the tears had not smudged the ink, the words still there just as Catherine had found it when she first read it. After around ten or fifteen minutes Catherine's breathing became even, slow, her sobs hardly a sound anymore; Lady de Salinas checked her face to see that she had fallen asleep, her face pale. She didn't want to wake her, so she let her head rest on her thighs as she covered her with a blanket she had taken from the foot of the bed. It might have been a better idea to get her back in bed, but if she woke up, she would start crying again and it was best if she rested.</p><p>The rain and thunder didn't wake her for an hour or so but a knock on the door announcing that someone was about to come in did. It was Mary's governess. Catherine sat on the floor slowly, a saddened smile gracing her lips at the sight of her only daughter. Getting up from the bed she walked over to where the governess was and picked Mary up who laid in her arms sleeping peacefully. Lady de Salinas took the opportunity to get up from the floor and rearrange the bed so Catherine could sit there with her baby. When she stood up, she saw the letter and decided to put it inside the Queen's jewellery box next to her favourite pearls before she walked to a corner to wait.</p><p>Catherine walked to her bed, sitting on the edge of it without raising her head, looking at her precious daughter with all the love in the world, a little bit of happiness filling her broken heart. The baby stirred in her sleep, waking up slowly, her beautiful blue eyes opening to look up at her mother, smiling a toothless grin. She couldn't help but feel overwhelmed, a new batch of tears forming in her eyes.</p><p>-My beautiful Maria. I wonder if someone told your aunt about you. – A few tears escaped from her eyes as she blinked, removing the chemise to free one of her breasts to feed her daughter, carefully resting her back on the pillows. – Maria, I shall stay today in my chambers, please inform everyone that I do not wish to be disturbed.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty.</p><p>-But… - she raised her head, noticing for the first time the state Lady de Salinas was in due to her emotional breakdown. – Maria, you look so out of sorts, was it my fault?</p><p>-No, your Majesty. Do not concern yourself with my appearance, I shall take care of it.</p><p>-About what just happened… I really would like you to come back and stay with me and Mary. I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with Henry. You know me better than anyone.</p><p>-If it's what you want, then I'll stay your Majesty. I shall go and inform of your wishes.</p><p>Vowing softly, she left, heading down the corridor. Henry couldn't understand how his plans to divorce her and marry Anne could have gone so horribly wrong. He had already talked with people and made the documents in bases that their marriage was not fully legal. If he were to leave her and marry Anne, he would have to face the biggest Empire he had ever seen, and England would be crushed to bits so he would have to do this some other way. Maybe if she suffered an accident, he would be king of the biggest empire anyone had ever seen and he would be free to marry Anne, but that would be risky. Very risky. A knock on the door disturbed his train of thought.</p><p>-Come in.</p><p>-I'm sorry your Majesty, but I have a message from the Queen.</p><p>-What Lady de Salinas?</p><p>-She will spend the day in her chambers with Princess Mary and wishes for no one to disturb her.</p><p>-Does that include me?</p><p>-I believe so sir. I will go now; her Majesty has requested my presence.</p><p>-Do go, she needs you, but on your way tell Lady Anne that I wish to speak with her. Go.</p><p>He turned his back on her before she left. He would have to think of another way of doing it, he wanted Anne as his wife and Queen. Maybe he would be able to persuade Catherine into giving the crown up or giving it to him, God knows how much she loves him, she would do anything for him. Another knock on the door made him turn around to see Anne entering the room, a sultry smile on her face.</p><p>-I heard that Catherine has received really upsetting news. Is it true? – for a moment it disgusted him how happy she seemed about his wife's pain and distress, but he quickly shook the idea out of his head.</p><p>-We a big problem.</p><p>-Problem?</p><p>-I can't divorce Catherine.</p><p>-What? Why not?</p><p>-She's going to become Queen of Spain and Empress of the Holy Roman empire. If I left her, she would destroy England.</p><p>-But she hasn't given you a son and I can!</p><p>-You will give me a son, I know it, but I don't think you'll be able to become my wife or Queen.</p><p>-There has to be a way, I'm sure of it.</p><p>-I can't think of any ways, not right now. Catherine will need me, and I will have to be beside her.</p><p>-You still love her?</p><p>-I'm fond of her, she has given me five children from which only Mary lives, but still, she is a very strong woman, I admire her.</p><p>-You haven't answered my question.</p><p>-Do I need to? I'm the King and I'll decide what I say.</p><p>-I'll be going, I have things to do if you don't mind your Majesty.</p><p>-We'll find a way, Anne. I promise.</p><p>With a quick vow, Anne left the King's chamber, walking fast, upset, down the hall. She could give him the son he so needed not Catherine, why couldn't he see that she was meant for him, why couldn't he understand that she was all he needed. Catherine needed to disappear, or their plans would never happen, and she couldn't have that, not when she was already with child.</p><p>What no one knew, not even Catherine herself was that she was already carrying another child so soon after Mary's birth, but Henry had forced himself on her just a few weeks previous to this fatal day and Catherine had let him do what he wanted with her. As his wife, she didn't have the right to tell him no but now things would change. She was no longer Catherine of Aragon, Henry VIII's wife, no, she was Catalina I of Castile, Queen of Spain and England and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire, and history was about to change.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Henry didn't go to Catherine's bed that night, not that she cared much, she was too upset to actually notice what was going on around her. True to her word Lady de Salinas had made sure no one disturbed her Queen, taking food and drinks up to the chambers herself. Catherine had spent all day pacing and resting in her bed, baby Mary with her at all times much to the governess protests, but she didn't care, she needed her around to make sure that she would not disappear out of thin air. She had been behaving like a ghost, pacing the room over and over again, but if she had left her chambers, she wouldn't have been able to face the world. She would have had to face all the ladies Henry had slept with and the mocking smiles from that Lady Anne.</p><p>Many times, along the night she had woken up from her slumber due to the many nightmares that plagued her mind. She would dream of her family and how they all disappeared one by one without her being able to do a thing. Sometimes she dreamed about her children, the living and the dead and she could have sworn that she had heard Henry's screams in her mind as they all lay dead on the floor. She was now sitting on her bed; another nightmare having woken her. Scanning the room, she found herself alone with her baby daughter. She had expected lady de Salinas to be there, but she was all by herself as she looked at the small fire that still lingered in the fireplace.</p><p>-Tu padre también tuvo amantes, Catalina. (Your father also had mistresses, Catalina) – the voice came from the left side of her bed, frightening Catherine, but as she turned, she saw her mother. It was a trick of the light, of her mind, but she so desperately wanted it to be real.</p><p>-¿Mamá? – her voice hoarse from not having uttered a word all day, quiet as to not wake baby Mary.</p><p>-Debes recordar que tú eres tu propia persona primero. Nunca os crie para que os dejarais avasallar por vuestros maridos. (You must remember that you are your own person first. I didn't bring you up, so you'll be dominated by your husbands)</p><p>-He perdido fuerza mamá, no soy como tú. He perdido a todos mis hijos menos a María y mis hermanas han creado grandes familias. Soy débil mamá. (I've lost my strength mama, I'm not like you. I've lost all my children except for María and my sisters have created big families. I'm weak mama)</p><p>-No mi amor, no eres débil. (No my love, you are not weak) – Isabel's hand cherished her daughter's cheek, a cold breeze brushing her face where her mother's hand would be. – Has estado sola tanto tiempo que has olvidado quién eres. (You've been alone for so long that you've forgotten who you are)</p><p>-No soy nadie. No tengo cualidades que Henry podría querer como hacía al principio. He fallado en mi misión. (I'm no one. I don't have any qualities that Henry could love like he used to at the beginning. I've failed in my mission)</p><p>-Eres fuerte. (You are strong) – Catherine turned her head to the other side and saw the ghostly figures of her sisters Isabel, Juana, and Maria. Isabel had died so young in childbirth and still, she told that Catherine was strong. Coming from her dearly departed sister it meant the world to her.</p><p>-Eres inteligente. (You are smart) – Juana's words sounded so different from how she had used to talk after she had married Felipe. She sounded happy, truly happy. Maybe the afterlife wasn't such a bad place after all.</p><p>-Eres justa. (You are fair) – it was such an irony to see her beloved sister María standing right in front of her when that same morning she had read her letter thinking she was fine with a newborn son.</p><p>-Eres Catalina, y debes recordar que eres mi hija, nuestra hija. (You are Catalina, and you must remember that you are my daughter, our daughter.)</p><p>-Papá. – his ghost came out of the blue and joined her mother at the side of the bed. He held a very proud grin as he looked at his youngest daughter.</p><p>-Te han encerrado sin oportunidad de tener contacto con nosotros, te han intentado apagar como si fueras un incendio que amenaza a todo su modo de vida. Han intentado que tu esencia desapareciera. (They've locked you without giving you the opportunity of keeping in touch with us, they've tried to put you out as if you were a fire that threatens their way of life. They've tried to make your essence disappear.)</p><p>-Pero no debes dejar que te venzan mi hija. Eres nuestra heredera, y debes volver a ser quien eras. (But you mustn't let they defeat you. You are our heir and must go back to who you were)</p><p>-Os echo de menos. El embajador no me dijo nada, y no pude ni deciros adiós… Os he fallado, siento como si os hubiera dado la espalda. (I miss you. The ambassador didn't tell me anything and I wasn't able to say goodbye… I've failed you; I feel as if I've turned my back on you)</p><p>-Tu momento llegará, pero no ahora. Tienes muchos años por delante todavía, y la mejor manera en la que podrías recordarnos es asegurándote de que nuestro mundo, nuestras tierras, la corona y nuestra gente se mantienen seguros y proliferan. (Your moment will come, but not now. You have many years ahead of you, and the best way you can remember us is by making sure that our world, our lands, the crown and our people remain safe and proliferate)</p><p>-Catalina, sabemos que es un gran peso para llevar en los hombros, (Catalina, we know that it's a huge weight to have upon your shoulders,) – her sisters approached her, their figures shinning in the firelight. – pero has aprendido de todos nosotros, y aunque la única que fue reina fue Juana sabemos que lo harás bien. Lo llevas en la sangre. (but you've learnt from us and even though the only one that was Queen was Juana we know that you'll do great. It runs in your blood.)</p><p>- ¿Os quedareis conmigo? No puedo perderos, no quiero perderos. (Will you stay with me? I can't lose you; I don't want to lose you.)– a new batch of tears were now falling freely from her eyes. Her heart ached horribly as she looked at her family. She wanted to spend the rest of her life here, in this moment, but she could see that they were starting to fade. – No, no os vayáis. (No, don't go)</p><p>-Catalina, siempre estamos contigo, aquí. (Catalina, we'll always be with you, here.) – her father pointed at her chest, Catherine's heart aching to touch him. – Estamos muy orgullosos, y queremos que seas feliz, pero para ello debes de recordar quien eres, lucha por tu vida, por tu reino. (We are very proud of you, and we want you to be happy, but to achieve it you must remember who you are, fight for your life, for your kingdom.)</p><p>-Mis hijos… (My children…)</p><p>-Están con nosotros. No te preocupes, pronto tendrás el hijo que tanto quieres. (They are with us. Do not worry,soon you'll have the son that you so much desire.)</p><p>-No puedo soportarlo. Os tengo aquí delante y sé que no estáis al mismo tiempo. No quiero que me dejéis, no quiero que os marchéis, por favor. (I can't stand it. I've got you right in front of me and I know that you are not here at the same time. I don't want you to leave me, I don't want you to go, please.) – she was crying very hard now, kneeling on her bed moving her arms from one direction to another as she looked at the ghosts of her family. – Me duele tanto el corazón el veros aquí. No pude deciros adiós, ni rezar por vuestras almas… No estuve en vuestros funerales. Me siento tan sola y vacía. (Seeing you here makes my heart ache. I wasn't able to say goodbye nor pray for your immortal souls… I didn't go to your funerals. I feel so alone and empty.)</p><p>-Nosotros también te añoramos y querríamos quedarnos aquí para siempre, pero ya no tenemos asuntos pendientes. Tú eras quien nos ataba y ahora que los deseos de Dios se han cumplido debemos irnos. (We miss you as well and we would love to stay here forever, but we don't have unfinished business anymore. You were what was keeping us here and now that God's plans have been fulfilled, we must go)– Tears shone in Isabel's eyes, even in her ghostly form she cared so deeply for her daughter, for all her children. – Te queremos, ahora y siempre, mi hija. Mi Catalina. (We love you, now and forever, my daughter. My Catalina.)</p><p>They faded in front of her own eyes before she could beg them once more to stay, leaving her kneeling on her bed, crying her heart out. Seeing them, even if it had been a trick of her mind reassured her, comforted her in a small way, her sobs quiet as she laid face down in her bed, burying her face among the blankets. She would have gladly given up the crown, her titles, everything just to be able to live with them for just one day, but that's not what they wanted. She would be a Queen until the end of her days, that's what she had been taught and that's what she would do. Lady de Salinas entered the room and found her sobbing in her bed. She ran to her Majesty, petting her head as to make her presence known. Catherine raised her head, her face red and puffed as she looked at her lady.</p><p>-Another nightmare my lady?</p><p>-They were here, standing next to the bed. – she grabbed her arms more tears falling from her eyes.</p><p>-Who?</p><p>-My family. My parents and sisters.</p><p>-But your Majesty…</p><p>-They told me so many things… They let me say goodbye.</p><p>-Your Majesty, I… - a glimpse of happiness crossed Catherine's eyes and it was then when Lady de Salinas knew that she had seen her family, and they had given her hope and strength. – I'm sure they came to you, my lady.</p><p>-They are proud of me.</p><p>-Everyone is your Majesty.</p><p>-They said that I had forgotten who I was, have I, Maria? – her sad eyes starred at her intensely as if she held all the truths in the world.</p><p>-May I speak frankly?</p><p>-Of course, Maria.</p><p>-I don't think you've forgotten but I do think that his Majesty has dominated your spirits. You used to be a strong, temperamental, and opinionated woman. You were taught to handle foreign affairs and matters that involved the crown, but your husband ended up cowering you</p><p>-Henry loves me.</p><p>-But he's hurt you so many times. I know, I've seen your bruises and scratches. You've let him treat you like a possession and not a person.</p><p>-What have I done Maria? – Catherine felt small and weak as she came to the realization that she had stopped being Catalina long ago to become what she had hated her entire life. A servant to her husband.</p><p>-You've behaved like a wife, submissive to your husband and not like a Queen, it's not your fault, you've suffered so much over the years.</p><p>-He was so sweet when we married, and after our children died… He hates me because it's my fault.</p><p>-No, your Majesty. It's not your fault, he has hurt you and upset you many times and caused you to lose your children. It was never your fault.</p><p>-What am I to do Maria? He won't accept Mary as his heir.</p><p>-Put yourself together Catherine! You are the Queen and you need to stand up for your people and your daughter.</p><p>-I can't… - her head hanging low, hiding her face from María's gaze for she couldn't stand her eyes on her. She was just too upset about everything and felt as if she were a huge disappointment.</p><p>-Yes, you can. Who are you?</p><p>-What?</p><p>-Look at me and tell me, who are you?</p><p>-I'm… I'm Catalina. – she raised her head, sitting with her legs crossed over the mattress, a few silent tears still falling down her cheeks.</p><p>-No. Who are you?</p><p>-Maria, I don't understand what you mean. I'm Catalina.</p><p>-No. I know you are in pain, but you are not who you say. I'll ask you again, who are you?</p><p>-I'm Catalina of Aragon.</p><p>-And what else? – Catherine had stopped crying by then, a few hiccups still escaping her throat as she talked with Maria.</p><p>-I'm Catalina of Aragon, Queen of England.</p><p>-Say it with confidence. Who are you?</p><p>-Catalina de Aragón, Queen of England! – she raised her voice enough to boost her confidence but not to wake her sleeping baby.</p><p>-You'll be alright now. Tomorrow morning you shall be your old self again.</p><p>-Do you believe so?</p><p>-You'll have to be strong and stand up to his Majesty but remember that now you hold the future of most of the continent. You are more powerful than he is, don't be scared to remind him where he stands.</p><p>-You are right. I'm Queen and I can't let him push me around as if I were nothing.</p><p>-Go to sleep now your Majesty, you need to rest.</p><p>-What if I get scared? Henry's very strong.</p><p>-You'll have to face your fears, your Majesty. He'll try to scare you, I'm sure of it, but you are his Queen, and will be until you die, so face him. If he tries to hurt you, threaten him, he can't kill you without starting a war, so you'll be safe.</p><p>-How is it that you know so much about politics Maria?</p><p>-I listened carefully whenever your parents were teaching you anything or took you to Court or when you were with your tutors. I did it so I could help you in the future. I know that it's very difficult to trust people when you hold a position of power, but I'm loyal to you until death takes me.</p><p>-What would I do without you María? – she laid back in bed, María cherishing her hair sweetly as she drifted back to sleep, her face relaxing as happy dreams filled her mind for the first time that night.</p><p>Lady de Salinas checked on Mary after tucking Catherine in for the rest of the night and after seeing that the little girl was still sleeping peacefully, she went back to her armchair that was at the foot of the bed, close to the dimming fire. After a few minutes of praying silently for her friend and Queen, she drifted off to sleep as well. Catherine hardly got any sleep that night, but after the conversation she had had with her family, she found that sleep didn't elude her anymore as if someone was protecting her from those bad dreams that had plagued her mind for so long. She hadn't slept so well in years. As the sun reached her bed a knock on the door woke Lady de Salinas but not the Queen, thankfully. Standing up she rushed to the door and saw Catherine's ladies standing there, waiting.</p><p>-She's still asleep. What time is it?</p><p>-It's past seven. Since she didn't call for us at the usual time, we decided to come on our own accord to see if she was fine.</p><p>-She's fine, just asleep. She's had a terrible night. Wait here.</p><p>Closing the door, she saw Catherine stirring in bed, opening her eyes at the light of day. She worried that maybe the knock or the conversation had woken her, but the baby's gurgles reached her ears as Catherine got out of bed to pick her daughter up. She looked better than yesterday, still very sad and melancholic, but as soon as she sat in her bed with her beautiful daughter a sweet smile graced her lips.</p><p>-The ladies are waiting outside your Majesty.</p><p>-Tell them to come in, and Maria, thank you.</p><p>-What for your Majesty?</p><p>-You helped me so much yesterday and I hardly think I'll ever be able to repay you. You also spent the night here with me sacrificing your own rest for mine. You should go to bed and rest for the day.</p><p>-Will you be alright on your own today your Majesty?</p><p>-Yes, do not worry about me. Your words are still very present in my mind and you need to rest. On your way to your rooms please tell Mary's governess to come.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty. Would you like me to go right away or after you are dressed?</p><p>-Right away, you look very tired.</p><p>-I shall go then your Majesty.</p><p>Vowing softly, she headed for the door, motioning for the ladies to go inside. They stood patiently next to the fireplace as Catherine feed her daughter. She had often wondered how her sisters had looked when they were babies, did Mary resemble any of them? She took after her Spanish side of the family, her hair dark and her skin fair and soft to the touch. Did her daughter look like her when she was born? Mary slowly drifted back to sleep; her mouth still attached to Catherine's breast. Moving her over to her shoulder she covered her chest with her chemise as she motioned for her ladies to get moving with her free hand.</p><p>-Would her Majesty like to wear the blue gown today? – one of the girls showed her a beautiful deep blue dress with golden embroidery.</p><p>-No. I'll wear the black one.</p><p>-But that's a mourning dress your Majesty.</p><p>-I know. My sisters are gone and my father as well, I do believe it's about time I mourned their deaths. I shall wear that one.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty.</p><p>A knock on the door informed her that someone was about to come in, the governess to be exact. She handed Mary to her, a bit reluctantly, but knew it would be best if her little girl waited in the nursery until she had finished getting dressed and had had breakfast with Henry. Getting out of bed she put a new clean chemise and waited for her ladies to put the corset and the petticoat on. She wanted to stay in her chambers again, a feeling of emptiness and solitude filling her entire being, but she had to go out for her own good. She stepped inside her beautiful black dress with white embroidery, the sleeves hugging her slender arms as her ladies tied the corset around her figure. Sitting down in front of her vanity one of the girls picked her brush up.</p><p>-I do not wish for any elaborate hairdos today. Brush it and pin it so it won't get on my face but leave it down.</p><p>Vowing her head, the girl brushed her raven locks softly as not to hurt her lady, carefully braiding a few of them and pinning them creating some sort of tiara around her head, her hair shinning in the sun as it came through the window. Her ladies showed her different types of jewels she could wear today but Catherine didn't feel like wearing rubies or sapphires, so she chose a series of pearls to decorate her hair and to wear around her neck and ears. Once she was ready, she dismissed everyone, staying all alone in her chambers. Maria's letter was still hidden in her jewellery box, well away from Henry's prying eyes, her hands shaking slightly as she looked at the folded parchment. She felt the urge to read it again but knew that it was best to leave things as they were, she was already in too much pain. Taking a deep breath she closed the box leaving her private chambers and was kind of surprised when she found herself alone at the breakfast table.</p><p>-Where's the king?</p><p>-He's having breakfast in his own chambers.</p><p>With her, obviously, Catherine thought bitterly to herself as she left the room. She had been with him when his parents died, when they lost their beloved sons, but now that he was supposed to be with her be had abandoned her once again. Her shoes clicked fast as she walked to Henry's room. She didn't even bother to knock just like he would have done. He was feeding her grapes, how disgusting. At the sound of the door opening they both jumped, Henry standing up startled.</p><p>-Catherine! What on Earth are you doing?!</p><p>-Leave – she looked sternly at Anne, the girl walking slowly towards the door.</p><p>-No, stay.</p><p>-I… said… leave. – Catherine didn't raise her voice; she didn't need to. Her mother used to use a very serious tone when they misbehaved or did something that was forbidden, but with Anne, it had to be different. She used an authoritative tone that even took Henry by surprise. Vowing quickly Anne left the two monarchs on their own. - I didn't expect you to come to my bed last night, but I had hoped you would have breakfast with me. I was obviously hoping for nothing since you were here, with her.</p><p>-Our marriage has been over since the very beginning Catherine. I will take as many mistresses as I like, and you won't say a word.</p><p>-Go ahead, do it, but don't complain if I let other men shower me in affections. You don't seem to want me, so...</p><p>-No. You are my wife and it's completely forbidden for you to have any male friends or companions. I forbid it!</p><p>-You just said that our marriage is over as if it never happened, why would it bother you? But that is not why I came here. – she was scared, terrified but stood her ground as he talked to her. - I want Wolsey to prepare a homily for the souls of my sisters and my father that have recently passed away, at Westminster.</p><p>-I don't think we should do that. The English people don't care about them, they weren't English. They will hate you.</p><p>-No, Henry, you don't care about them, it's not the same.</p><p>-You won't talk to me that way. – approaching her he was surprised to see that she hadn't moved an inch. He was taller but she held an aura of power that he had never seen before. – You burst in here, throw her out and talk absolute nonsense about a homily. You will stay here and stop this. You are my wife and shall behave as such.</p><p>-I didn't come here to ask for your permission. I will talk to Wolsey today so it can be done tomorrow or as soon as possible.</p><p>-You are disobeying me?! – he grabbed her wrists, pushing her against the wall, her back hitting the stone wall, but she didn't lose her defiant look, her head held high.</p><p>-I am the Queen and shall do and go wherever I please. I am not disobeying you because I am not under your chains. I'm your wife, not an object. Let go of my hands, now. – he would have slapped her, she knew it, but he let go, walking backwards, stunned at his wife's behaviour. Had she become a cruel and vicious woman now that she didn't have any family left? – I would prefer if you accepted my actions instead of saying no to everything that you believe is stupid or has no place in your Court. I'm going to do it, with or without your approval because I don't need your permission. Remember that.</p><p>-Catherine? – his voice held a subtle tone of worry as he looked at her, his eyes wide as if he had just seen her for the first time in years. She was in mourning, her dress hugging her figure in a way he had never noticed. She was still beautiful, even more than Anne, her raven locks soft and shiny, her skin soft and sweetly pale but with a small hint of an olive sub tone inherited from her parents. She hadn't moved from her spot as he stared at her, his eyes roaming through her body until he met her eyes. He used to say that if he looked at her stunning blue eyes he would surely be bound to drown, but he wouldn't have minded. He was doing exactly that now, staring at her soul through her eyes.</p><p>-What? I do not wish to argue Henry, I'm tired of it.</p><p>-Why are you doing this?</p><p>-Doing what?</p><p>-Defy me in front of Anne, talk to me in this manner. I'm her king if you treat me like…</p><p>-Like what? The same way you've been treating me? I'm tired of you always getting what you want. You never ask, you just do it. I'm tired of fighting, of trying to save this marriage when the only thing you are doing is destroying it. I'm in pain, I've lost my family and you spend your time with her? Sometimes I think that you are too afraid of losing and that's why you run away, like a coward.</p><p>-I'm not a coward! Don't tell me I'm the problem!</p><p>-See? You've been playing this game where I always lose, but not anymore. I'm the Queen, and you will have to learn how to live without my devoted attention.</p><p>-Are you going to leave me? – a ray oh hope and guilty rose inside his chest, but at the same time, extreme saddens overtook him. He loved Anne, but he couldn't let go of Catherine?</p><p>-Of course not. I would never do that, but you won't be my priority from now on. If you want to take mistresses, you'll have to get used to me having my own male companions. I won't be your servant anymore. – adjusting her corset, she saw how Henry's eyes travelled all over her body, hungry for love or lust. Maybe he would come to her instead of Anne tonight. No, it was best not to get her hopes up. - You can call your whore back; I shall have breakfast in my chambers.</p><p>-You are here already, why don't we have breakfast together? – he touched her hand softly, but she pulled away. She was not for him, not until he realised that she was the one and only for him.</p><p>-Because I don't want to see your face right now. You shall be informed of when the homily will take place once I've talked with Wolsey.</p><p>With her head held high, she turned around and left his chambers. She kept walking even when Henry left his rooms, following her down the corridor, yelling for her to come back. She did notice that his voice held a hint of worry and need but she was not going to let him do whatever he pleased with her. She was exhausted from playing this stupid game with him, she was always the one that ended up getting hurt, but two can play that game, and it was about time she tossed the dice. She would not be a Queen and Empress that let her husband rape her and punish her, no one in the continent would trust her and she would have a hard time already because of her sex. Henry would learn that she was not to be taken for granted.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-Henry, darling, I'm talking to you.</p><p>-What? – Henry and Anne had been following Catherine all day through the gardens after she had returned from talking to Cardinal Wolsey. She really had done it; she hadn't been bluffing about not having gone to his chambers to ask for permission and it really surprised him. Catherine had never defied him like this before, but here he was, following her to see what else she was capable of. He was behaving like a child but for some reason, he just couldn't picture her with someone else, much less someone who had been beside him since he became King, like Thomas More, who right now was talking to his wife as she cradled little Mary.</p><p>-Henry, what has got into you today? You are not paying any attention to what I'm saying.</p><p>-That's nice Anne.</p><p>-Henry! – her yell seemed to bring him back to the land of the living as he looked back at her. Something was missing in his eyes when he roamed her body, that sparkle of lust that use to drive him crazy and into her bed almost every day seemed to have vanished.</p><p>-What the hell do you want?!</p><p>-I didn't mean to yell at you, but you seemed to be so far away.</p><p>-I was thinking.</p><p>-About her? Have you come up with a way of getting rid of her?</p><p>-Anne, she's still your Queen and if someone heard you talking like that, they could say that you are committing treason. It's best if you keep quiet and leave.</p><p>-What? You've been pushing me away since this morning? What has she done to you, what has she told you?</p><p>-That's the point! She hasn't!</p><p>-Shouldn't that be exactly what we want?</p><p>-I don't know. I need to think, leave me alone.</p><p>Anne looked very hurt but he was the king and so she vowed and walked away, but once she was a few feet away she turned her head to look at him once more and saw that he was staring at something in the distance. Stopping on her tracks she hid behind some bushes so she could spy on whoever he was looking at. Popping her head from behind the bush she felt as if her heart had been smashed into little pieces. He was looking at her, at Catherine, that horrible woman. She was carrying the king's child, she was sure it would be a son, and that woman had never succeeded in giving England the so needed heir, she still could play that card.</p><p>Catherine and Thomas were sitting on the grass, Mary playing with the hem of her mother's dress as the adults talked. Mary was two months old and could already sit on her own as well as smile and laugh, her arms always moving up and down all the time. She was a very active child, and a very loved one as well. Thomas had approached them a little while ago thinking she might want some company. They hardly talked, Catherine was too much in thought to actually say anything, but she did like that he was just there, keeping her company, she wasn't expecting Henry to show up at all and be with her, he had pushed her away and she was going to do the same.</p><p>-I'm very sorry your Majesty. – those were the first words he had spoken since she had allowed him to sit with them. He did feel sorry, he admired the woman and knew that she was a very loved Queen but still she was always in pain, putting that mask of rightness and magnificence she was so known and admired for. - I know you must be going through a very hard time.</p><p>-Thank you, Mr. More, that's very kind of you. It has been very hard indeed, but Mary has helped me a lot.</p><p>-She's very important to you, isn't she?</p><p>-Yes. Although I feel as if Henry doesn't love her.</p><p>-The King loves his daughter, I'm sure of it.</p><p>-But he wishes she had been born a boy. Every time I've found myself with child, he was so sure it would be a boy and the only one that has survived has been her. – a sweet smile graced her lips as she watched her daughter laugh, Mary always found the simplest things the funniest and Catherine cherished these small moments with all her heart.</p><p>-Maybe the Lord is punishing his Majesty.</p><p>-Whatever for? – for the first time since arriving from Westminster, she was actually interested in having a conversation and was rather surprised to hear such a thing coming from him since he was Henry's friend.</p><p>-Lady Anne and his other girls.</p><p>-Oh, that. – her semblance turned a little bit dark at the mention of his affairs, her attentions going back to her daughter.</p><p>-Forgive me, your Majesty, it was never my intention to hurt you.</p><p>-You didn't Mr. More. It is true that it hurts but it's not your fault.</p><p>-Have you tried to talk with him?</p><p>-Many times, but he always managed to push me away. There was always something more important to do than talk to me.</p><p>-I'm sure things will get better your Majesty.</p><p>He put his hand over hers smiling reassuringly. Henry saw the intimate gesture and felt his blood start to boil. That man was touching his wife and lord knows what his intentions could be! She really had been right when she had been saying that if he had mistresses, she would have male companions. How dare she do that to him! He was about to head their way when he saw ambassador Chapuys walking hurriedly in her direction and decided to wait. He approached Catherine, a big letter in his hands.</p><p>-I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I have something for you, your Majesty.</p><p>-Ambassador! I thought you would be on your way to Spain by now. – she took Mary in her arms sitting her on her lap as she looked up to the man she thought she wouldn't see for quite some time.</p><p>-I had to wait for some documents to get here your Majesty. They are very important and should be delivered right away.</p><p>Thomas took Mary in his arms so Catherine could take the letter. It had the seal from the Spanish crown. Worried it might be even more bad news she stared at the seal for a few seconds wondering if she should break it or not but, in the end, she would have to read it, and it was best if she did it right away. With a silent clack, the seal broke in half, and with shaky hands and her heart pounding in her chest, she unfolded the parchment.</p><p>-Ambassador, do you know what this is? – she showed the parchment to him, but he didn't need to read it, he just smiled and nodded.</p><p>-Yes, your Majesty.</p><p>-You knew I was going to accept before you came to talk with me, weren't you?</p><p>-I was quite sure you would, yes.</p><p>-And you accepted it in my name?</p><p>-I mentioned to the members of the Court that you had always been a person that believed in duty. Maybe they misinterpreted my words, your Majesty.</p><p>-You got lucky Ambassador. Either way, this letter would have reached me, but don't take such liberties and we shall not mention this incident ever again.</p><p>-What does it say, your Majesty?</p><p>-That I, as the daughter of Isabel I of Castile and Fernando II of Aragon now that all my siblings and potential heirs are gone and their descendants have refused the crown in my favour, with my signature in this document it shall be official. I'll be Queen of Spain and Empress of the Holy Roman Empire. Ambassador, shouldn't a representative of the court have come and be my witness?</p><p>-I am that representative your Majesty. I have ink and a quill in my pocket if you wish to sign here.</p><p>-What difference would an office make? Hand it to me.</p><p>Chapuy gave her a beautiful swan feather quill, opening the bottle of ink carefully as he kneeled on the grass. Henry was very surprised, the only one that signed documents was he, so he took it as a very very bad sign. What if she was starting a revolution against him? He was too far away for Catherine to see him pacing, his imagination getting the best of him. Once she signed there was no going back, she would be the most powerful woman to have ever lived, maybe she should have thought about it more, but the image of her mother came to her mind.</p><p>-Ambassador, what if I'm not a good Queen?</p><p>-You'll be just as good as your mother or even better your Majesty. You have always posed the best of both your parents.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, she dipped the quill in the ink and moved her hand to the lower part of the parchment. She didn't know if it was a good idea, but there was no turning back and carefully she signed with her name: Catalina de Trastámara y Trastámara. She didn't feel any different as she lifted the quill after signing but knew that everything would change now, her two-month-old daughter was now the heiress of the biggest empire to have ever existed and she could hardly crawl.</p><p>-Your Majesty. – He vowed his head followed by Mr. More, both in an act of submission to her. He had been her servant and supporter in this foreign land after he was appointed by her father but now, he was her most humble servant wherever he went. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. – I am forever at your service your Majesty.</p><p>-I shall have to go to Spain soon, shan't I? – the thought of returning to her homeland brought such joy into her heart but also sadness since she would be alone, but being able to see the green landscapes that filled the mountains and the fields of Galicia or Asturias, the plains that created Castilla, the many rivers that crossed through Aragón… She just couldn't wait to visit Granada and walk through its streets, but most of all what she couldn't wait to do was visit the graves of her family. It would allow her to stop chasing ghosts.</p><p>-Yes, your Majesty, you'll be expected to return soon. You'll have many things awaiting you there.</p><p>-What… what do you mean?</p><p>-Your sister Juana was a very loved Queen, but I don't know how the people will react to you since you are Queen of England and Spain and England have always been…</p><p>-Enemies, yes, I understand. But I'm not a foreigner, I was born and raised in Spain.</p><p>-That I believe we'll play in your favour, your Majesty. There shouldn't be any problems but I must tell you this so you'll be prepared; Navarra wishes to become a kingdom of its own again, so have in mind that they might not act friendly when you first go there.</p><p>-I understand ambassador. Go back to Spain and take the letter to Court. Be ready for my arrival in a few months' time. I will travel to Santander and make my way to Valladolid, after that we shall go to Granada, I wish to visit my mother's grave. You are dismissed.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty. I am forever at your feet.</p><p>Vowing his head, he raised from the floor taking the letter and folding it. Catherine watched him go, the quill still in her hand. She could hardly believe what she had just done, she had signed the most important document of her life right there in the garden and she hadn't even talked with Henry about it. Then again, he had nothing to do with it, absolutely nothing. Henry had watched everything from afar and for the first time in many years, he was genuinely scared. What if she was the head of the rebellion? He had to find out, so he walked fast in her direction, Anne following him with her eyes from her spot behind the bushes. She wouldn't risk doing that would she?</p><p>-Good day, Henry. – how on Earth did she know it was him? He thought to himself. She had been living with the man for quite some time and could smell him a mile away, he always smelled the same: old wine and wood fire.</p><p>-Good day Catherine. I just saw the ambassador leaving, what did he want?</p><p>-He wanted to give my titles.</p><p>-What? – she wasn't starting a rebellion, thank the Lord for that.</p><p>-My right to become Queen and Empress has just been made official.</p><p>-Did you accept it without asking me?</p><p>-This doesn't involve you Henry, and I did not accept it. I've become Queen and Empress.</p><p>-You what?! I thought that you would think about it! You just found out about this yesterday! – this was way worse than her heading the rebellion. All his plans had just gone out the window because his wife had decided not to talk to him. Did she despise him, was she scared of him? – We used to talk Catherine.</p><p>-Yes, well, things change. You did.</p><p>-Why are you being so difficult?</p><p>-I will not engage in an argument, not in front of Mary and Mr. More. I did what my parents would have asked me to do, and I don't think I should have to ask you or talk with you since you do whatever you want without consulting me and it affects our daughter and the English people.</p><p>-You are my wife, not my chancellor.</p><p>-My father was always my mother's chancellor as well as she was his. I think you have forgotten what marriage implies Henry. Anyway, I do not wish to talk with you anymore, please, leave.</p><p>-Catherine, I'm trying to maintain a conversation with you.</p><p>-I'm so tired of you Henry. I think I'll go for a walk; would you accompany me, Mr. More?</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty. Your Majesty. – More vowed his head after getting up from the floor before helping Catherine rise.</p><p>-Catherine, please. – he grabbed her wrist but for once he wasn't using all his force to maintain her there, he just didn't want her to leave. Not with him, with anyone that wasn't him.</p><p>-If you want to talk you know what you have to do. I won't ask you to dine with me or even come to my chambers because I know that you'll do it one day and you'll go back to her the next. I'm your wife and I won't be subjected to mockery anymore. Good day, Henry.</p><p>He let go of her and watched dumbfounded as she walked away taking Mary in her arms from Mr. More's. He felt powerless as if she had taken all his energy with her newfound attitude and strength. All of a sudden seeing Anne didn't sound very appealing. Seeing someone who wasn't Catherine didn't sound very nice. Maybe he had pushed her too far and had ended up losing her, but that was what he had wanted once, to get her out of the way and now he couldn't bear the idea of parting with her. Anne could see that Henry was in pain but admiring his wife as she strolled away with More. She had to win him back, she was going to give him the son he had always wanted, and then he would never look at Catherine ever again.</p><p>-You'll be a magnificent Queen, your Majesty, I know it.</p><p>-I'm very grateful for your kind words. I will try my best, but I must admit that it frightens me. I have power over such an amount of land and people that I wonder if they'll accept me if I'll be able to make them prosper.</p><p>-You will be a very loved Queen your Majesty.</p><p>-Do you think I was too rough with Henry? I love him but I'm tired of all this.</p><p>-I do not think so your Majesty. You should keep going. Henry likes to have what he believes he can't get and once he has it, he grows tired of it. The way he used to talk about you before you were married… He loves you; he's just grown accustomed to you.</p><p>-Then I shall continue. I just hope he won't betray me and leave me.</p><p>-Leave you? He wouldn't dare, would he?</p><p>-You said it yourself, he's grown tired of me. He said this morning that our marriage had been over since the very beginning. I think he will ask me for a divorce soon.</p><p>-He won't be that stupid. You could start a war with England and crush him to bits, he knows that.</p><p>-But he also knows that I wouldn't start something like that out of revenge. It's not like me.</p><p>-That is true, you are too good. For him, for us, for England. I'm his best friend and I'm telling you, no begging you to push him to his limits. He'll soon find out what's best for himself.</p><p>-What if he ends up asking for a divorce? Then what? Would I return to Spain with Mary and hope he doesn't try to end me?</p><p>-I will be honest. He wouldn't be so stupid as to try and end you, he knows it would be suicide. And there's no need for you to worry about the kingdom, I'll make sure you are not forgotten here. I will always be your loyal servant; I would even go to Spain with you if you asked me.</p><p>-Thomas, I think I know where you are heading, and even though I am flattered I must tell you that I can't be with you. I am sorry, you are a lovely man, but I am still married and will be for many years, I hope.</p><p>-I knew you would answer that, but I will wait for you. I just thought you ought to know.</p><p>-Thank you for your honesty, Thomas. I am very fond of you and would like you to stay close to me. Now many people will try to get to me, and I don't know if I'll be able to trust many of them, but I know I can trust you.</p><p>-You are not afraid I might tell Henry about your plans? Or that my feelings for you might drive me mad?</p><p>-No. You are a good man Thomas. I want you to be around me and help me, just if you accept.</p><p>-Chancellor to the king and chancellor to the Queen? Henry won't like it.</p><p>-Henry doesn't have to win every time.</p><p>Thomas smiled as the Queen chuckled. From that moment on, they chatted about mundane things, sharing lovely moments with Mary while Henry watched how his best friend swept his wife of her feet. Anne approached him from behind, touching his shoulder softly. It took him several seconds to turn around and face his mistress. She was pretty but he didn't find her as alluring as he had before not even for a one-night stand. He just didn't want her around.</p><p>-Are you alright Henry?</p><p>-Anne, I don't want you around, at least not for a couple of days.</p><p>-But Henry! I'm carrying your child, your son!</p><p>-How can I know if it's mine?! Just go away! I don't want you here.</p><p>-It's her! Why is it always her?!</p><p>-If you say one more word, I'll have you vanished!</p><p>He glared at her before she ran back into the castle. Henry's voice reached Catherine's ears; she couldn't quite make out what he said but she knew he was throwing one of his famous tantrums. She closed her eyes holding Mary closer to her chest, the little girl falling asleep at the sound of her mother's heartbeat. Thomas turned around just in time to see Anne running back to the castle and without thinking placed a hand in the small of Catherine's back. They returned to the castle. As soon as they entered Mary's governess reached out to take Mary from the Queen's arms so she could take her up to her crib. Catherine looked rather sad but knew that if she took Mary around court it would disturb her slumber and now that she slept for long hours at night, she couldn't risk upsetting her and having her cries fill the castle at night, no one would get any rest. She wanted to write a few letters to her nephews and nieces as to apologise for not going to the funerals and inform them of the situation. It was best if she had them on her side and not against her.</p><p>-I want to write a few letters, maybe you would like to accompany me?</p><p>-To your… chambers? It wouldn't be wise.</p><p>-You won't be in my bed-chamber if that's what you are afraid of, besides I'll have my ladies with me if you feel that being with me alone would too much.</p><p>-I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I do want to accompany you.</p><p>She smiled and took his hand guiding him to the upper floors and into her rooms. She was still very upset, but she was so used to smiling and making it look as if everything was fine that the moment Thomas closed the door, she threw herself at him, her arms around his neck as she let the tears fall. It had been very hard for her to talk with Wolsey, that man seemed to hate her just as much as she hated him, but she wanted to do something not just for their souls but for hers as well. She had wanted to cry so much as she talked with him but kept her regal attitude the entire way. Now she just needed it and Thomas loved her, he wouldn't judge her just hold her, unlike Henry. Why couldn't he do that? Why couldn't he love her? After a few minutes, she raised her head and looked at him. He handed her a handkerchief so she could dry her face, putting herself together.</p><p>-I'm sorry about my emotional display, but I'm still upset and in mourning.</p><p>-I'm no position to judge you, your Majesty. You asked me to join you so you wouldn't be alone am I right?</p><p>-Henry is angry, I know it and too proud to come to me but I… I really do not wish to be alone right now.</p><p>-You would prefer for him to be here instead of me. I'm not offended, he is your husband.</p><p>-Why loving him hurts so much Thomas? I feel as if he's consuming me. – Henry was at the other side of the door with his hand in a fist as if he were about to knock on the door. He had really caused her pain?</p><p>-Henry is a very complicated man.</p><p>-He used to give me gifts, flowers, take me to places around England. He used to whisper sweet I love yous in my ear and hold my hand as a sign to tell me that everything would be alright. If only our little boy hadn't died. I love him so much that it breaks my heart every day seeing him with… her. I've even heard that she's expecting already.</p><p>-And you? Are you expecting?</p><p>-It's not possible Thomas. Mary is two months and a few weeks old, well almost three months and Henry hasn't been with me…</p><p>-Your Majesty?</p><p>-He did come to my bed a few weeks ago, but it wouldn't possible, would it? I've always had so much trouble with my pregnancies. It would be a miracle for me to conceive so soon after Mary's birth.</p><p>-Should I ask for a physician to come and check you?</p><p>-What do we have to lose? I'm not with child but I assume that it's best to confirm it. And even if I were, he would still remain by her side. She's way more important for him than I am. I thought he was happy with me, I tried so very hard to be his perfect wife and, in the end, I failed, she holds his affections and I've become an old toy that no one wants anymore. It's in moments like this that I miss my family so. I think I should start on those letters; you can sit wherever you please.</p><p>He had forced her a few weeks ago after having argued with her and never thought of the possibility of her getting in the family way after that. He had been so mad that he hadn't even thought about her feelings, whether he was hurting her… He might become a father; how didn't he think of it? She had hoped for him to be beside her during these trying times and he had failed her. She loved him so much she had known about his mistresses for years and still had kept quiet. She had given him her life and what had he been doing all these years? No wonder she was treating him so badly.</p><p>-Your Majesty…</p><p>-Please, don't ask me.</p><p>-What do you think I was going to ask you, your Majesty?</p><p>-Would I be willing to leave him if his mistress had a son?</p><p>-I wouldn't have put that way, but… would you, your Majesty?</p><p>-I'm sorry but… I can't leave him, even if he treats me the way he does. I love him so much, maybe too much. My sister Juana was said to have gone mad because she loved her husband so much, she couldn't stand his affairs. I wouldn't go mad. I would rather die than lose him or leave him.</p><p>-I'm sorry for having asked, I can see that this upsets you very much. I'm very sorry your Majesty.</p><p>Henry rested his back against the stone wall as he tried to process all the things he had just heard. She would prefer death over a divorce. This nonsense with Anne had to end, she had seduced him, she had made him lust after her, but the main problem wasn't her, it was him. He would try his best to win her back, but maybe she would think he was going back with her for her newfound position of power inside the continent. He wanted to get his wife back but maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't want him back after all the pain he had caused her. Henry walked slowly to his own chambers and motioned for everyone to leave him alone. He needed to think.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The King himself sent a physician up to the Queen's chambers once Thomas More had left her be. A knock on the door disturbed her as she wrote another letter, this time for her nephew Fernando. Muttering a soft come in he saw that it was the doctor at the door and not Henry or Mary's governess.</p><p>-I'm sorry to interrupt your Majesty, but the King has asked me to check you. He said that you've been rather healthy but wants to make sure you are fine after the birth of your daughter.</p><p>-I feel perfectly fine doctor but I will allow you to examine me.</p><p>Henry had been thinking about everything that had transpired since they had woken up that morning and had decided on a course of action. He would be dining with her and if she allowed it, he would spend the night with her. Anne was probably mad at him and wouldn't try to talk to him until tomorrow morning so it would also give him time to decide what to do with her. He should probably send her back to her father's home or even back to France, anywhere that wasn't here, poisoning his mind against his Catherine. He walked up and down his chambers his nerves getting the best of him at times as he waited.</p><p>-Everything looks fine your Majesty; you are perfectly healthy.</p><p>-I could have told you that myself but thank you anyway. You can report back to the King that I'm perfectly fine.</p><p>-As long as you keep on eating healthily and do not stress yourself too much there shouldn't be any problem with the child.</p><p>-Of course, doctor… what? What did you just say? – she sat upright in bed, the strings of her corset in her hands, forgotten as she stared at him. It was a mistake, she was sure of that, it had to be.</p><p>-You are with child, very early on, but definitely with child.</p><p>-Are you sure? Couldn't it be… I don't know…</p><p>-I'm quite sure your majesty</p><p>-But I've always had problems with all my pregnancies. I've never conceived this quickly before.</p><p>-Maybe the Lord has given you a chance your Majesty. If my services are not required, I will leave, your Majesty.</p><p>-Of course, thank you, doctor.</p><p>He vowed swiftly before leaving her on her own. She was too stunned to say anything at all, not even refuse the entrance of her ladies who were followed by Lady de Salinas. She was… no, no, but he had just said it. Maria noticed that Catherine was rather quiet, her eyes unfocused as if she were deep in thought, very deep in thought. Maria kneeled in front of her taking the strings from her hands. The movement made Catherine look up and stare at her.</p><p>-Maria! I thought you were resting.</p><p>-It's in the evening, your Majesty, I've rested enough. Is there something wrong?</p><p>-Wrong?</p><p>-You look worried as if your mind was far away from here.</p><p>-The physician told me something very unexpected, I'm trying to come to terms with it.</p><p>-Are you sick your Majesty?</p><p>-No, I'm perfectly healthy. I'm… with child. – she whispered those words in Maria's ear so her ladies wouldn't hear it, she didn't want that kind of information to spread around Court like wildfire.</p><p>-So soon?</p><p>She nodded as a smile graced her lips before she stood up and allowed her ladies to dress her again. Once they finished lacing the corset they curtsied and left her with Maria who was taking care of the pearls Catherine was wearing in her hair. This wasn't planned at all; she didn't know if with all that she was going to go through she wouldn't miscarry. It wouldn't have been the first time, she knew that, but something felt different. Something was telling her that this time everything would be fine.</p><p>-How are you going to tell his Majesty?</p><p>-I have no idea. What if he's not happy? Rumours say that his mistress is expecting, what if he finds her more important than me?</p><p>-You are still the Queen and if you give him a son, she won't have a place in this court.</p><p>-What if it's a girl? He'll get so mad at me, again.</p><p>-It's best if you tell him once you feel comfortable enough about the entire situation.</p><p>-I've just become Queen and Empress and Mary is just two months almost three. So many things could go wrong.</p><p>-At least you knew that something was off and called the physician.</p><p>-I didn't. Henry sent him because he wanted to know if I was fine after the birth of Mary.</p><p>-He sent him? Maybe he's planning on trying to have another child with you and wants to see if everything is fine.</p><p>-No, his beloved Anne is already with child, he wouldn't want me, not when he has a younger woman who will go to him whenever he wants.</p><p>-Have faith, your Majesty.</p><p>Henry heard a knock on the door and ran to open it himself, grabbing the doctor's arm and pulling him inside. By the look of his face, there was nothing wrong with Catherine, but the stupid man certainly knew how to put a poker face.</p><p>-Well?</p><p>-The Queen is healthy your Majesty.</p><p>-And? Is there something else?</p><p>-Yes, the Queen is with child.</p><p>-I knew it, I knew it!</p><p>How could he have been this blind? He should have realised there was something off about her, he should have been with her, what if she had suffered a miscarriage? Obviously, this changed everything, all his plans even though he had put them to question already now had no meaning. With Catherine pregnant Anne just wasn't important anymore. When they were first married, he told her he would love their children without caring if they were boys or girls but after little Henry's death, he had started the search for a son, but all the boys she gave birth to died shortly after. Maybe he had pushed her too much and that's why everything had happened. He should have been with her; he should have cared but he had found the skirts of other younger girls more fascinating than the one he was married to. He thanked the doctor over and over again as he pushed him outside of his chambers a smile plastered on his face. He had bought Anne a set of jewels, a sapphire neckless and two brooches but was going to give them to Catherine as a way of celebrating this new child they would be welcoming in a few months' time. Taking the box in his hands he walked to Catherine's chambers.</p><p>He was nervous, he felt like a teenage boy again like when he first set eyes on Catherine and decided right on the spot that she would become his wife. Knocking on the door he heard a soft come in. She was sitting in her own study parchments scattered all over the wooden desk.</p><p>-Good evening Catherine. – she raised her head and turned in her chair surprised to see him there.</p><p>-What are you doing here Henry? What do you want? – her heart was beating fast against her ribs, but she turned back to the letter she was writing giving him the cold shoulder just like she had been doing all day.</p><p>-I… I came to ask you if I could join you for dinner tonight. – he was rather sad that she wasn't looking at him but knew that he had hurt her deeply and repeatedly. He could see how her demeanour had changed the minute he had asked her if he could join her.</p><p>-Has that whore of yours refused to dine with you?</p><p>-Catherine, I haven't seen Anne since you told her to leave my chambers this morning. – a white little lie wouldn't harm her and in a way, he had not really paid any attention to Anne at all today so he wasn't really lying.</p><p>-Has she refused to see you, or you really haven't seen her today? – it was driving him mad that she was still given him such a cold treatment and wouldn't even look at him. He wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes desperately.</p><p>-I really haven't seen her today.</p><p>-Alright, I guess I don't mind it. You can join me. - She looked at him for just a few seconds but that was enough for Henry. Just a sweet glimpse of those eyes made him weak in the knees. She kept on writing, she knew he was still behind her and was waiting for him to leave but he didn't, he just stood there, watching her. It didn't make her uncomfortable, but she wondered what had got into him, why was he here? – If you are going to stay here at least sit down.</p><p>-Right. What… what are you doing? – he sat at the big wooden table that was in the middle of the room placing the box on top of it.</p><p>-Writing some letters to my nephews and nieces. I have to explain to them why I didn't go to their parents' funerals. The little ones hardly know me, but the older ones are probably quite upset.</p><p>-Do you need anything? I mean more parchment or ink, or maybe another quill?</p><p>-Maybe some wax for the seals. I've got enough for two more letters.</p><p>-Of course. Do you want a colour in specific? – he rose from the table.</p><p>-Red. But you don't have to bring them right away.</p><p>-Nonsense, I'll be right back. You continue with the letters.</p><p>The minute he closed the door Catherine turned around with a questioning look on her face. What on Earth was he doing? He had never behaved like this before, he was just so attentive, so… so unlike Henry. Oh, sweet mother of God, Catherine thought, what if he had found out she was pregnant and was acting like this just because of the baby? Like always he probably thought it was going to be a boy and that made her so mad, it was so like Henry to pay attention to her for a little while and then puff, he was gone again, back to his liaisons around court. The sound of the door creaking brought her back to reality and she quickly turned back to her letter before Henry could actually see how much he was hurting her. Why did he always put honey on her lips and after one taste took it away? He put the wax seals on her table next to the candle and on purpose touched her hand. He just wanted to feel her skin in a way that didn't imply they were arguing or that he was trying to get her to do something or stay somewhere.</p><p>Catherine's breath caught on her throat, the brushing of his fingertips across the back of her hand leaving a tingling sensation. Her heart was desperately telling her to turn and kiss him, but her brain prevented her from moving. She wasn't going to stop giving him the cold shoulder treatment until he really proved to her that he was hers forever and that he was going to change and be her husband just like in the beginning. Henry's fingers were on fire after the feather touch; she did take care of her skin it felt just as soft as it had been when he first met her and kissed her hand with his brother's eyes watching him. Reluctantly he walked back to his chair, watching her back. It took her several seconds to react and she quickly returned to writing, the sound of the quill over the parchment the only thing that could be heard in the room.</p><p>-I… I sent the physician to see you. I remembered that with our third son you got sick a few months later and I wanted to know if you were fine. What did he say?</p><p>-I thought he would have told you since you sent him.</p><p>-I didn't get to see him, there was an emergency that required his utmost attention.</p><p>-He said that I was fine, completely healthy. – maybe he actually didn't know, but if she blurted it out right away… it just didn't seem like the right moment.</p><p>-He hasn't found anything?</p><p>-No. Everything's fine.</p><p>-Good. – why was she keeping the child from him, he was giving her the chance of telling him and she was keeping it. Maybe she wasn't telling him because he wasn't the father, maybe it was Thomas More, or some other male courtier. That made his blood boil, but he remained as calm as he could master. He was the only one, she had told Thomas, he had been the only one. – How is Mary? I haven't been able to spend time with her in the last couple of days.</p><p>-She's very well. – the change of tone told him that she was very happy he had changed the subject and that the new topic was their daughter. The only wonderful thing that had come out of their marriage in the last few years. – She's been trying to crawl, but she doesn't quite get that she can't move if she's lying flat on her belly.</p><p>-She's a very smart girl, she'll start crawling soon, I know it. Takes after you on that.</p><p>That was the last thing she had expected to hear from him, and it caused her to turn around and look at him. He gave her a sweet smile, a genuine one before she turned back to her letter. She stared down at the words and realised she hadn't written a single word since he had come in. It was best if she tried to finish that one, seal it, and write the rest early in the morning, before the homily. She found it kind of hard to focus on the letter while she could feel Henry's eyes on her back but managed to write a few more words and a soft goodbye. Folding the parchment, she took the spoon where the melted wax was and poured it over the closing before she placed the stamp over it while it was still warm. After a few minutes of more awkward silence, she took the stamp off and put it back in the drawer.</p><p>-Have you finished? You haven't used the wax I brought you.</p><p>-I'm tired so I'll finish them tomorrow. Could you ask them to bring the food in? I'm rather hungry and I suppose that you are as well.</p><p>-I heard that we are having a very lovely roast today.</p><p>Standing up he poked his head out and talked with one of the boys that were in the hall. When he closed the door and turned, he found Catherine tiding up her desk, her raven locks falling over her shoulders as she bent to put the leftover paper in the lower drawers. One of them accidentally fell from the desk and she hurried to pick it up. Henry's eyes fell on her broad bosom, the dress creating a very generous cleavage. She felt his eyes on her and knew perfectly where he was looking but to her surprise, he didn't make any lustful remarks or tried to touch her in any inappropriate way, just grabbed her arm to help her up before he let go. What the hell had just happened? He had been gentle with her.</p><p>Just as she finished putting everything away taking the candle to the main table there was a knock on the door. A group of the Queen's ladies entered the room with trays as well as a few courtiers. Catherine sat in front of Henry and not beside him like she used to, two plates of food being placed in front of each monarch. Henry took a few grapes and popped them in his mouth, his eyes never leaving Catherine's figure as she spoke with one of her ladies. She took a bite of a yellow thingy that laid next to her grapes her eyes shooting wide open. She hadn't had that dish since she had left Spain. Catherine looked up to stare at her husband with a questioning look to which he smiled and nodded.</p><p>-I thought you might like a dish from your land. We normally don't have them.</p><p>-What brought this on? You have never asked the kitchen to change their meals for me.</p><p>-I just thought that after having suffered so much since you found out about your family you would have liked something that took you back at least for a few minutes.</p><p>-Thank you, Henry. It tastes just like the omelettes I used to have back home. – she smiled at him but didn't take his extended hand, not just yet or he would think he was winning. He had never done something like this, and it warmed her heart each bite she took, taking her sweet time to taste it and submerge herself in the flavour. She had never felt so close to home.</p><p>They ate in silence, Henry's eyes never leaving Catherine's figure. It didn't make her feel uncomfortable, he wasn't looking at her with lust or disgust, but with adoration. Soon Henry grew tired of the fruit and asked for the roast while Catherine took her last bites of her omelette. The plates were changed and soon the smell of roast with vegetables filled the room. Being in England most of the days they had fish as main courses but being the Queen meant that she also got to have quite often meat. She was finding it a bit hard to eat with his eyes upon her all the time and decided on bringing up a subject that had been bothering her since the physician had left.</p><p>-Henry, you know I must return to Spain to be crowned.</p><p>-I do, yes.</p><p>-After talking with ambassador Chapuys I said that he should expect us in a few months, but something happened this evening and made me change my mind about when we should leave.</p><p>-Do you wish to leave later? Don't you think they'll get impatient?</p><p>-I do not wish to leave next year Henry. I wish to leave as soon as possible.</p><p>-As soon as possible means tomorrow or in a week?</p><p>-I would prefer tomorrow.</p><p>-What? I was kidding. How can you think we can prepare such a trip in one morning? – he kept his voice balanced, trying very hard not to yell at her.</p><p>-Could we do it after tomorrow's homily? I really do want to leave as soon as possible and if it's not tomorrow then the day after would be better.</p><p>-Why so soon?</p><p>-Well… I wasn't fully honest with you this evening. – that was it, she would say it and hope for the best. She just really hoped he didn't start yelling at her or throwing things.</p><p>-What do you mean? You don't lie Catherine that's one of your best qualities. – his heart was pounding in his chest, and how stupid that was since he already knew what she was going to tell him but hearing the same news coming from the doctor and from his wife was sure to cause very different reactions.</p><p>-I didn't lie, I just kept some information to myself. Before I tell you, I'm warning you if you start yelling at me, I'll leave. I don't want to start an argument. The doctor told me that I'm with child. Very early on, but with child.</p><p>He stood up and jumped over the table the plates shaking over the weight and movement he had caused. She pushed the chair away from the table, afraid about his action but the only thing he did was take one of her hands and kiss it. Her eyes were wide open, terrified about such an emotional display. He kneeled right in front of her placing his head on her lap.</p><p>-Why would I yell at you? This is the most beautiful thing you could have told me.</p><p>-Is Anne pregnant as well? – she needed to know; in her heart, she already knew the answer but needed to hear it from him.</p><p>-Yes. But you are my wife and you are carrying my child.</p><p>-What will you do if I don't have a son? Go back to her? – she wanted so badly to take her hands away from his, she didn't want to go back to square one with a broken heart, but she was glued to her seat unable to move a muscle.</p><p>-No. If you have a daughter, I will love her just as much as I would love a son. I told you the first time you got pregnant that I would love that child regardless of its sex and I'm sorry I broke that promise.</p><p>-Henry? – he had tears in his eyes, as he brought her hands to his lips, kissing them. His eyes never left hers, the people in the room long forgotten.</p><p>-I promise. I'll do whatever you ask me to prove to you that I'm yours forever.</p><p>-That's your problem Henry. – she managed to push him away so she could stand up, looking at his kneeling person from a few feet away. – I shouldn't have to tell you. You think that everything you do is fine, and you are hurting people. I won't tell you; it would be fixing one thing but leaving others broken. You have to find out for yourself what you are doing wrong, and once you are capable of fixing that, I'll believe you.</p><p>-You… you are leaving me?</p><p>-No. I will never do that, but I won't trust you. This is our baby and I want you with me.</p><p>-That's why you want to leave as soon as possible? So, I'll be with you at all times?</p><p>-I want to leave because I miss my home. I will go with you or without so don't think I'll be forcing you to be the perfect husband. You can do whatever you please Henry, but I will say one thing. I want you to come with me. You can choose what you'll do. - She was walking back to the doors that would take her to her private chambers, but Henry placed himself between the door and her, dropping to his knees.</p><p>-I'll go with you, wherever you go. Anne will stay here and while we are away, we'll think of what to do with her.</p><p>-No, you'll think about what to do with her Henry. She's your lover, not mine. Just don't change your mind because I won't wait for you, not anymore.</p><p>-If… Could I stay tonight? We don't have to do anything, but I want to be close to you.</p><p>-You can but remember that I'm mad at you and I won't let you lay a hand on me.</p><p>-Can we finish our dinner? – he extended his hand, but Catherine didn't take it just turned and sat back in front of her plate. Henry felt rage rising inside of him but managed to control his emotions and sit back as well. – So… when do you want to leave?</p><p>-The day after tomorrow. I want to plan with you the trip as soon as possible. I will take some of my ladies as well as Lady de Salinas. I'm sure she would like to visit her family in Castilla, and I want Thomas More to accompany us. I've appointed him my temporary chancellor.</p><p>-But he's my chancellor Catherine. He can't be yours.</p><p>-I said temporary. I trust him and I want to make sure that whoever I chose holds the same high regards as Thomas has.</p><p>-You should have asked me, Catherine.</p><p>-Henry, I won't start a fight.</p><p>-Okay, I'm sorry. He'll be your temporary chancellor. I'm fine with it, I promise.</p><p>-That's all I want for this trip. Obviously, Mary is coming with us. You can plan the rest of the trip on your own if you want.</p><p>-I'll take some of our servants and courtiers, but Anne will go back to his father's house.</p><p>-Will she?</p><p>-Yes. Tonight. Boy, - he looked at a young boy that stood close to the door. – go to Lady Anne's rooms and tell her to pack her things, she's going to her father's house and prepare her carriage.</p><p>The boy nodded and vowed before he left. Catherine couldn't believe her ears. He had just sent her away, right in front of her. Maybe he really had listened to what she had said and was trying his best to stay with her. All of a sudden, she just wasn't hungry anymore, just wanted to stay alone with him. She motioned for her plate to be taken, Henry following her shortly after. Catherine stood up and opened the door to her private chambers looking at Henry with her head tilted. He hurried and entered her rooms, Catherine following him and closing it. It was just the two of them.</p><p>-Now that we are alone, I just wanted to say something, Catherine. I'm sorry. For everything. I've hurt you so much and I just… I didn't see it. I'll make it up to you, everything will be fine. Everything will be just like it was when we first got married.</p><p>-I'm grateful for your apology but I won't trust you or your words until I see it with my own eyes. I'll get my maids.</p><p>-No. I'll do it.</p><p>She looked at him for a few seconds before turning around removing her raven locks from her back. With shaky fingers, he unlaced her corset a bit clumsily at first. He hadn't meant that of just like when they first got married in every single aspect. Once the dress was undone, she let it fall to the floor, stepping out of it. Catherine turned around and reached for his doublet, unbuttoning it slowly. She pushed it off his broad shoulders letting it fall to the floor. He guided her to the foot of the bed and sat her down as he kneeled in front of her, raising her petticoat, and with his warm hands he took her shoes off and then her tights. She had expected him to continue his trip up her legs, but he left her skirt fall back and helped her stand. He kicked his own shoes off before he reached out for her corset, unclasping it. By then she was just standing in front of him in her chemise, her heart beating very fast against her ribs. She pushed him to the foot of the bed and grabbed the waist of his hose pulling them down his legs. Now they were equally naked. She wanted him but knew that she couldn't let him get her, if she did, she could risk losing all the progress she had made. She felt his hand on her cheek caressing her face as he slowly travelled down her neck to her clavicle. He pushed the chemise a bit of her shoulder but stopped when he saw her turning her head away.</p><p>-Do you wish to retire for the night? – she nodded; her face still turned away. He grabbed her hands and started walking towards the bed. She lowered herself, Henry walking to the other side and getting on the bed next to her. She sat on the bed, picking up her rosary and starting on her prayers. Henry watched her as she closed her eyes, her lips moving swiftly as she said her nightly prayers. In normal circumstances, he would have interrupted her and tried to have his way with her but tonight he left her alone. She prayed for her parents' souls as well as her sisters and for a save pregnancy. It brought her comfort and reassurance. After fifteen minutes she opened her eyes, the light of the candle giving the room a very dim glow. She placed the rosary back on the nightstand and looked over to where Henry was laying on the bed.</p><p>-I thought you would be asleep by now.</p><p>-I was watching you. You look so peaceful when you pray. I had forgotten how important that was to you.</p><p>-Why don't we go to sleep? Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day.</p><p>-Of course. May I give you a kiss goodnight?</p><p>He leaned over and pressed his lips over hers, it was a very short and sweet kiss. Henry didn't push her into doing something he knew she didn't want and so he caressed her cheek once more and laid down. She blew her candle, the room enfolding itself in darkness. It made her shiver as she covered herself with the blanket, but he reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. She held it and decided that maybe she could show him some affection and turned to rest her head over his chest, the warmth lulling her to sleep. Henry didn't fall asleep right away, he watched her figure, her skin glowing in the moonlight. As he closed his eyes the sound of a carriage reached his ears. Anne was gone and even though it made him feel a bit lonely he didn't feel sad or mad. It was the right thing to do to win Catherine back.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Henry checked everything that was being packed in their carriage for the fourth time, Thomas Cromwell standing on the staircase watching the scene. He was to be Henry's eyes and ears while they were in Spain. He would trust Cromwell with his life if it ever came to that. Yesterday had been quite a day. When Catherine woke up, he was still in the room, looking out the window. They got dressed in their own rooms and about an hour later they made their way to Westminster for the homily. She was very grateful for him being there, for it was a very hard time but it brought enough peace to her heart that she managed to smile a couple of times throughout Wolsey's prayers. The rest of the day was spent in between the garden and Henry's study as they planned the trip not forgetting to change the subject and take a break every once in a while. Catherine needed it so she could rest and be with Mary. Now it was close to seven in the morning and they had been up since around five. Catherine had been unable to sleep because Mary had spent a very fussy night and she had wanted to be close to her.</p><p>-Has everything been packed? – Henry asked one of the boys as he finished tying the trunks.</p><p>-Yes, your Majesty.</p><p>-Where is the princess and the Queen? We should leave soon.</p><p>-There was a problem with her highness princess Mary and…</p><p>-Where are they? What happened? - He ran inside the castle getting to the second floor in just under two minutes and burst into the room. Catherine was sitting on a chair with little Mary cradled in her arms, asleep. She looked up and smiled at him before she went back to looking at her daughter. – One of the boys said that something was wrong with Mary, is she okay? – he kneeled in front of her, caressing Mary's hair.</p><p>-She's fine, she just threw up a bit after eating and got her clean clothes dirty. I just finished getting her ready.</p><p>-Then she's fine? Okay, and you?</p><p>-I'm fine, tired but maybe she's a bit sick, you know what a hard night she's given us.</p><p>-Should we wait until she gets better?</p><p>-She's asleep now, so that's good, we should get going as soon as possible. It'll be a very long journey to Southampton for Mary.</p><p>-Around a day or so.</p><p>-But then we have the journey across the sea and that will be a lot longer and it'll be the first time she'll be on a ship.</p><p>-Everything's packed so we are ready to go when you are.</p><p>-I'm ready. Do you think Cromwell will do well? – she stood up cradling little Mary even closer to her chest before one of her ladies placed her travelling cape over her shoulders.</p><p>They both made their way to the outside of the castle, Catherine's shoes marking their speed knowing with her heels as they walked over the stone floors. Once outside Mary made a small whimper as if the cold was bothering her and Henry gave Catherine his own cape so Mary would be warm, at least until they were in the chariot. Giving one last glance to the castle she stepped inside the carriage Henry holding her back so she wouldn't fall backwards and once she inside Henry followed her. In normal circumstances, they would be alone, but Catherine had asked Lady de Salinas to join them in case she needed some help with Mary and Henry had agreed that it was the best option. The carriage started moving, Catherine taking a deep breath before she settled in her seat, Mary hiding her face in her mother's chest, but a few minutes later the sound of a horse reached their ears as well as the voice of a man telling the coach to stop. The carriage came to a halt and Henry popped his head out the tiny window wishing to know what was going on. The man handed him a letter telling him that it was urgent and for the Queen before he turned around and went back to the castle. Henry stared blankly at the letter before sitting down.</p><p>-What's wrong? Is everything alright?</p><p>-It was a messenger; he gave me this for you. Go on coach! – with difficulty, she took it in one hand reading where it came from. She became pale and quickly asked Lady de Salinas to pick Mary. – Catherine?</p><p>She broke the seal with shaky hands and unfolded the parchment. The words were clear and sharp, almost as if they were meant to hurt her and make her bleed. A sharp pain went through her chest, only lasting for a few seconds but enough for her to put one of her hands there. She had been warned but she hadn't expected them to turn their back on her. Why did they accept her sister and not her? Henry put a hand on her shoulder bringing her back to the land of the living, raising her head to look at him.</p><p>-Aragon doesn't accept me as their Queen. They accept Carlos, my nephew but not me.</p><p>-Why?</p><p>-They say that since in Juana's will it was explained that Carlos was to be the heir, I have no reason to claim the crown.</p><p>-But you said that court chose you.</p><p>-Something tells me it was the Castilian court. If they didn't talk with Aragon, they are going to give me many problems. What I won't allow is for Aragon to start a war against me in favour of a nine-year-old boy. He's too young-</p><p>-What are you going to do then?</p><p>-As soon as we reach Spain we are heading directly to Valladolid. I want to know why on Earth they didn't talk with Aragon about this. It's their future as well. I thought it would be Navarra the one that was going to refuse me not Aragon. I'm Juana's sister for God's sake!</p><p>-Calm down, Catherine.</p><p>-How can I? My own parliament is refusing to accept me as their Queen when I have just as much right as Carlos has. I'm not related to the Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire and still, I'm to be crowned Empress, but my own land doesn't accept me?! It's infuriating!</p><p>-I know. I still don't understand why you are going to be Empress.</p><p>-I have no idea. The emperor was Felipe's father and Carlos' grandfather, I should have no right over it and I hardly think it belongs to the Spanish crown as ambassador Chapuys claims. There's something fishy going on and I just don't know what it is. Stop the carriage! - The horses came to a halt, Catherine jumping out and heading to the back carriages. Opening the door to the third one she found the ambassador and Thomas More playing cards. They both bowed their heads before she stepped inside. – You knew Aragon was going to refuse me, didn't you?</p><p>-Your Majesty, of course not. Why do you say that?</p><p>-Aragon's parliament just sent me a letter telling me that for them Carlos is the rightful King and not me. Tell me everything you have kept to yourself.</p><p>-I do not know what you mean your Majesty.</p><p>-You didn't ask Aragon if they wanted me as their Queen! Did you ask Navarra or Valencia? No, by the look of your face this was something the Castilian parliament decided on without consulting anyone. Did my sister Maria even refuse the crown?</p><p>-She did. Cardenal Cisneros visited her and she refused it.</p><p>-Why did you lie about the Empire?</p><p>-Your Majesty!</p><p>-It doesn't belong to the Spanish crown, does it? Why me?</p><p>-Alright. Maximilian I, died a few months ago and Carlos is too young to take on such responsibility so before he died we managed to trick him into assigning you as his heir. The Pope has agreed and accepted you, but the Germans are not very happy. They wanted to elect their next monarch and it would have been between Carlos and Francis I.</p><p>-The French king? This is all just so he won't have power over most of the continent?</p><p>-Yes. No one wanted the French to gain such importance and so you were our only option. Maria had refused and the male children were too young.</p><p>-I'm a puppet? This is what I've become ambassador?</p><p>-Your Majesty, for some reason Maximillian was fond of you and accepted almost without questions. I think he felt sorry for you.</p><p>-Sorry? People feel sorry for me?</p><p>-Most of the kingdoms know about his Majesties' adventures with other… females. They respect you but also feel rather sorry for you.</p><p>-He chose me as a way of saying I'm so sorry you are going through this, didn't he? And the Pope allows it because he knows me and feels also sorry for me. I'm to become Queen and Empress out of charity?</p><p>-It was the best option we had your Majesty. You are more than capable of handling all this and in a way, it was to get at Francis.</p><p>-And since I've already signed, I can't take it back. You played your cards too well ambassador. You are taking too many risks and you are starting to get on my nerves. One more move and I'll get rid of you, mark my words.</p><p>-I'm sorry your Majesty. It was planned by the Castilian court; I was just a messenger.</p><p>-Things have to change. I can't have people taking such liberties. The Spanish crown is mine by birthright, and in the end, it would have reached me, but I feel that it's not my place to be Empress, but we can't cry over spilt milk. I will be what Maximillian wanted me to, but I will not humiliate Francis. You better start thinking of a way of apologising or I'll take the matter into my own hands and get rid of you.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty. I'm really sorry, I thought that all this would come out once we were in Spain, but I'm glad you already know. It will allow you to think of a course of action.</p><p>-Well, thank you for telling me, I just hope you are not keeping more things to yourself.</p><p>She got out of the carriage, fuming and made her way to the front. She felt used as if she were some sort of puppet and it just made her even madder that it had all been planned by people she hardly could remember or knew. She kicked a rock she found in her path before getting back inside her own carriage.</p><p>-Carry on coach! – they started moving again, Catherine looking out the window, the letter still in her hand.</p><p>-Are you okay?</p><p>-You'll be glad to know that I'm Empress because no one wanted Francis to have power over more than just France.</p><p>-I don't understand, what does Francis have to do with it?</p><p>-The Germans wanted to elect their next monarch and it was between Carlos and Francis I, but my own court talked with Maximillian, so I was appointed his only heir in his will.</p><p>-You were right. It doesn't belong to the Spanish crown.</p><p>-Not technically, no. He gave me his empire because he felt sorry for me.</p><p>-Why would he?</p><p>-Because of you. Everyone knows about your… affairs with other women and it has caused me this, a kingdom. I would gladly get rid of it if they stopped.</p><p>-Just because you are mad at them it doesn't mean you have to take it out on me you know.</p><p>-Let's not argue, okay? I'm tired and I want to sleep.</p><p>-Catherine, no one said that being Queen would be easy, you know how hard it is for me. It will be disconcerting and frustrating at the beginning, but you'll get used to it and will know how to do it soon.</p><p>-I know how to do it. You won over the Scottish thanks to me, so I'm not afraid, but I am upset and mad that people think they have the right to choose my future and talk about me without even asking me. I will not allow this to happen to our daughter Henry. I was used as a political puppet to humiliate Francis and I'm not like that.</p><p>-Of course, you are not like that, but you shouldn't resent this just because it reached you this way. They chose you and knew that you were capable of handling it, why don't you think about that? They could have looked for someone else, but they did it so you could reign.</p><p>-Should I be grateful I got these titles and lands under false pretences?</p><p>-You should be proud they entrusted you with the wellbeing of all those people. I trust you and I know you'll be a good Queen.</p><p>-But they lied and manipulated people so Francis wouldn't…</p><p>-He's a jerk, Catherine. He thinks he's better than everyone, he goes around building castles and spending every coin he has while his people are starving. He doesn't deserve more power or money and goes around starting wars he knows he can't win. You will be better than him.</p><p>-Why do I feel like I'm stepping on someone else's shoes?</p><p>-Because I've never given you much power or say in court and now… now you can do whatever you please. I will give you full power over England if I see that you are better than me.</p><p>-Henry, don't. They are your people and I already have a lot on my plate. Maybe you were right, and I should have thought about this before I signed.</p><p>-Nonsense. If you really didn't want it, we wouldn't be on our way.</p><p>She smiled sweetly at him. Lady de Salinas snored loudly and right after jumped, she had woken herself up. Catherine chuckled before taking Mary in her own arms, Henry's cape covering them both. Soon she found herself asleep the little bumps on the road making her fall to her side. Henry saw that Lady de Salinas had fallen back asleep as well and pulled Catherine into his arms so she could rest in a more comfortable position and it also allowed him time to think. He understood her way of thinking after all she had thought she had received Spain and the Empire because of an inheritance not because everything had been a plan to get at Francis. She had always been a fair monarch even if she had had little say about any political affairs, but he knew she was more than capable. She was the right person for this job even if she thought she didn't want it or deserve it. This was her new life and she would have to cope with it, for soon things might get rough and dark and she would have to choose between facing them herself or turning her back and letting others solve them.</p><p>It was very early the next day when the arrived in Southampton. Again, Mary had spent a rather fussy night depriving the three adults of their much-needed sleep. Catherine thought Henry would have left them to deal with the little girl while he went to another carriage to get some sleep, but he stayed and helped as much as possible. They took turns holding her and massaging her back and belly which sometimes allowed them to take short naps before a new wailing episode happened. They already knew it was colic but it still broke Catherine's heart to see her precious daughter crying all the time. They were just a couple of hours from Southampton when the fifth episode began. Catherine woke up with a start and took Mary from Maria's arms as Henry stretched in his seat. She rubbed Mary's belly with a very tired look on her face, her eyes closing every few minutes.</p><p>-Catherine, why don't I do it this time?</p><p>-No, she cries less when I'm with her.</p><p>-You need to rest, remember that you are with child.</p><p>-I know… Shhhhhh. She stopped crying. – Mary had fallen back asleep against her mother's chest. – I think we are done for tonight.</p><p>-How can you know it? – he took his cape and covered them with it as Catherine rested her head on his shoulder.</p><p>-She probably had gas. I felt something on my thigh, so I think she broke wind. Finally.</p><p>-We didn't have these problems with Henry.</p><p>-Well, Henry died before we could actually enjoy being with him. – she moved the head to an upright position, uncomfortable by the new topic of conversation.</p><p>-I've been thinking and maybe I shouldn't have said what I did when he passed.</p><p>-You blamed me and didn't even talk to me for a week. You should have thought about me as well, but you were too caught up in your own grief that you forgot I was there. I held our child as he left this world, and you never apologised for the horrible things you said. I still haven't forgiven you for that.</p><p>-It was so hard that after one failed pregnancy you had given me a son and that just like that he left. I should have known it was going to be harder for you than for me and I know I will never be able to apologise enough for that but believe when I say that I don't care if this baby is a girl as well. We don't need a boy to reign.</p><p>-I don't believe that. You are always going to wait for me to give birth to a son and I'll continue to disappoint you over and over again and we'll go back to square one.</p><p>-I'm not going to lie. I would really like a son, but if you only give me daughters, I won't mind it. Mary will be a very good Queen, I know it.</p><p>-What has got into you, Henry? We've been arguing about this for years. You've been getting my ladies pregnant to see if they would give you the boy you wanted for centuries and now you are telling me that you don't care if we don't have a son? I don't understand you.</p><p>-I just think that we should cherish what we have and not think about what we once had or what we could. Mary is the pearl of my world and it should remain like that even if you give me a son.</p><p>-She'll inherit the biggest empire the world has ever seen, and you know it. I just hope you are not doing this because you already have plans for her.</p><p>-Why would I? She's just three months old.</p><p>-Well, you better not get any ideas in that head of yours because I won't have her marrying the first idiot that kisses your behind.</p><p>-Catherine, they would have to kiss you, not me. I might be the father, but you have more power than I do and that will mean great advantages for whoever gets the opportunity of marrying her. I have no saying in this.</p><p>-Are really telling me this? Henry, you don't leave things to me. You better rest I think something might be wrong with you.</p><p>-I'm trying to fix my errors Catherine, the mistakes I've made over the years. You told me you wouldn't believe me unless I showed you that I'm willing to change my ways. I'm doing it.</p><p>-You are saying and doing what you think I would like you to. Henry, I don't want you to change I want you to stop hurting me. I don't want you to become what you think will please me.</p><p>-But I thought that's what you wanted.</p><p>-No, not at all. You are you and I have to understand that and learn to live with it but that doesn't mean that I will keep quiet about certain behaviours. You have your personality and I can't change that and I'm not trying to. I want you to learn that it's not just you and that your actions affect people including myself. You must learn what you are doing wrong and fix it for you as well as me.</p><p>-I see. I've been doing all this for nothing.</p><p>-For something Henry. I saw that you are capable of acting the same way you used to before we were married, pampering me, and acting all loving towards me. I know we can save this, but I need you to do it with me. Maybe being away from England will do you good.</p><p>-I like woman and I like being with them but maybe I've been sleeping with them to hurt you. I blamed you for Henry's death and I think I was having all these affairs as to hurt for killing him even though I know you didn't.</p><p>-Well, you certainly seemed more than taken with Anne. There were rumours that you were to ask me for a divorce.</p><p>-I was going to.</p><p>-What? – the morning light came through the carriage windows as she turned her head to look at her husband. He had been willing to leave her in favour of a commoner of a… a girl, throwing eight years of marriage out the window. She moved away from him cradling Mary even closer to her chest as if she were afraid someone might take her away.</p><p>-Anne had manipulated me telling me that she would give me the sons I wanted. I wanted her because she had seduced me, she gets upset very quickly and craves for my attention all the time. She made me think I wanted her for Queen of England.</p><p>-I don't think I want to continue with this conversation.</p><p>-Catherine, please. – he went to grab her arm, but she raised it, her hand pushing him away.</p><p>-No. I don't want to talk with you right now Henry. I just really don't want to have you around, but we are in a very small space, so I'll have to cope with it.</p><p>She couldn't believe that Henry had told her she had been the cause of all his affairs as a way of hurting her to no end for the death of their child. How could he say something like that? He just didn't understand how important to a mother her children are. She would have given her life if she had known it would save her son, she would have done anything to keep him alive and beside her and he really had to courage of telling her that? She felt as if her heart was being squashed inside her chest, tears forming in her eyes as she looked down the window. He would have left her as well for that whore and now he was trying to make her believe he had been seduced, bewitched by that Anne as if he wasn't to blame. He would have dumped her as if she were trash to marry that commoner, that whore. She had not spent her entire life preparing herself to become Queen of England only to have that snatched away from her. She wouldn't open herself to Henry until she saw that woman gone forever with her own eyes. It was about time she set the rules and punished those who don't follow them. She was tired of playing the good lady role with those who had hurt her and used her.</p><p>Twenty minutes later they arrived at the harbour, Catherine refusing any help from Henry as she got out of the carriage. The air was cold and salty making Mary's breathing become less elaborate underneath her father's cape. Two astonishing ships stood right in front of them, their polished wood making them shine against the morning sun almost as if they held a halo of their own. All the trunks were loaded in under twenty minutes, in which time Henry and Catherine had boarded their ship and were looking around the deck as it moved gently against the small waves that came from the sea. Catherine walked to what she considered to be some sort of banister and stared at the endless horizon that was right in front of her. The sky was clear, and it was believed that they would have a save journey, the waves rocking Catherine's soul as she imagined how different things might be in Spain. Would Santander still be as green as she remembered? Would the yellow fields still cover the Castilian plains? Would the air smell in Valencia as salty as it did here? She would miss England, she had grown to love it, but she couldn't wait to show her daughter around her other home, half of her roots.</p><p>-Ya verás María qué bonita es España. Su modo de vida también será el tuyo y ya puede decir tu padre lo que quiera, debes conocer a su gente y aprender que cada lugar es diferente. Serás una maravillosa reina, tienes un futuro prometedor por delante hija mía. Más allá de ese horizonte azul. (You'll see María how beautiful Spain is. Its lifestyle will be yours as well and your father can say whatever he wants, you must know your people and learn that every place is different. You'll be a magnificent Queen; you have a bright future ahead of you my daughter. Over that blue horizon.)</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catherine spent the first few days of the journey in complete solitude in her chambers refusing to talk with Henry only allowing Lady de Salinas to take Mary up to the deck so she could get a bit of sun and fresh air. Henry knew he had fucked up to a new level because she had never secluded herself like that before almost refusing all the food anyone brought her. The only one that was allowed in her room was Lady de Salinas but not even her had managed to break her away from her prayers.</p><p>She hadn't got dressed since the first night they had spent in the ship passing all her time in her nightgown and robe, her rosary in her hands at all times. She felt as if she were in the middle of a war between her duties as Queen and Empress and her duties as a wife and mother. She had spent her entire life pleasing Henry, keeping quiet about every single thing he did, she had been loyal and loved him unconditionally despite all the pain he had inflicted her but still, he had thought about leaving her. She thought she had been a good wife. Her prayers brought her some comfort but no real help. She had hoped her family would help her, give her the answers she needed but there was silence, always silence. She was now sitting on the edge of her bed looking out the window into the sea, the white foam mesmerising as the ship moved through the waters. There was a knock on the door, but she didn't move from her spot, her eyes still fixed on the window. The door creaked slightly as Henry pushed it open with his back, his hands busy with a tray filled with food.</p><p>-I've brought you something to eat Catherine. – she didn't answer or looked at him, so he walked closer to the table that was on the other side of the room and placed it there before turning back to look at her. – Lady de Salinas says you haven't been eating much and I'm worried you might be unconsciously hurting our baby.</p><p>-Would you cry if I lost it?</p><p>-Catherine, is the baby okay? – kneeling beside her he tried to take one of her hands, but she pulled away looking at him for the first time in days.</p><p>-Get out.</p><p>-Catherine, are you okay? Is the baby alright?</p><p>-The baby is fine, now go.</p><p>-We need to talk. You've been in here for days and I still don't understand why.</p><p>-Are you kidding me? You really don't know what you've done? Don't make me laugh Henry, you always know what you are doing or saying.</p><p>-Believe, this time I don't know. Was it because of what I said about our Henry? I'm sorry, okay?</p><p>-You are a liar, a cheat, a heartless monster.</p><p>-Catherine!</p><p>-A vicious prick, - she stood up from the bed, slowly, walking in his direction, her bare feet making a sticky sound against the salty wooden floor. Henry was crawling on the floor, away from her. – a self-absorbed bastard. I've been keeping quiet for years when you were behaving like a disgusting human-like worm and still I, who loved you to no end, wasn't enough for your stupidly huge ego. You thought and probably prepared to file for a divorce! A divorce Henry! I who gave up everything I could have been for you, I who never contradicted you or gave my opinion because I knew it wouldn't be appreciated, I who gave birth to your children, went through the loss of your brother, parents, and our babies! I who married you because you swept me off my feet and who has stayed by your side all these years! You were willing to send me away to marry that bitch!</p><p>-Catherine, you've never acted like this before.</p><p>-Well, it's about dammed time I did! I would have kept quiet if it had been just one more affair, but a divorce Henry? That's a new level of lowness for you. You know I will never accept it and as Catholics, you should know we can't get divorced. On what bases would you have contacted Rome?</p><p>-It was just a thought Catherine, nothing else. – he had hit one of the legs of the table, his eyes watching Catherine's face turn red as her anger flared out of her being.</p><p>-On what bases Henry?!</p><p>-There was an error in our marriage license that made it illegal! But it was just a thought I swear it!</p><p>-An error. You know that wouldn't have been enough for Rome. Don't lie to me Henry or I swear to everything I'll make your life a living hell.</p><p>-It was Anne's idea! She said that we could mention Arthur and how you really did consummate the marriage.</p><p>-That is the most disgusting thing you could have said. You know how sick your brother was, how can you tell me this. I came to your bed as pure as I was when I was born!</p><p>-I know, but Anne bewitched me! She made me think you would never give a son and that she would, that you might be having affairs and that Mary maybe wasn't even mine.</p><p>-How dare you?! HOW DARE YOU?! I'm not a whore, unlike her! I have never laid with anyone that wasn't you!</p><p>-She's poisoned my mind, I love you, Catherine, I swear I do!</p><p>She was breathing heavily, her face losing that red tint it had acquired in the last few minutes. Henry was breathing rather heavily himself, his body shaking on the floor. She looked down at him before turning around and beginning to pray, her rosary moving in between her soft hands as tears fell down her cheeks. Her voice was shaky, hoarse, and quiet, her sobs breaking in between her words. Henry managed to stand up, his heart still beating a bit faster than usual, and walked to her and reached out to touch her. At first, he took his hand back but ended up placing it on her shoulder.</p><p>-Catherine?</p><p>-What did I do wrong? Wasn't I a good wife? – her sobs made it difficult for her to talk, the words coming out strangled.</p><p>-You didn't do anything wrong. You were the perfect wife.</p><p>-Then why are you doing this to me?</p><p>-I don't know. But I want us to go back to the beginning. I want everything to be well between us again just as much as you do.</p><p>-I don't know if I can do this. I'm in too much pain to even think of… I just want to be alone.</p><p>-Catherine, please, come out of the room. People are worried that you might be sick.</p><p>-The way I feel is close enough.</p><p>-Please, don't do it for me, I don't deserve it, but do it for Mary. It's her first trip and she's hardly up on the deck and when she is Lady de Salinas is the one with her.</p><p>-Is she having fun?</p><p>-I think she might be, but you should go up with her. Will you get dressed and get out of here?</p><p>-Ask Maria to come in. Just don't expect me to do much.</p><p>-I won't be around you if you don't want me to. I'll give you all the time you need to sort yourself out.</p><p>-Mary is your daughter as well, and if you want to be with her, I won't say no.</p><p>-I won't push you into anything so I'll be in the back, watching you in case you need anything okay?</p><p>She nodded but before he could move away, she took one of his hands and whispered a soft thank you. It was just a second when everything was fine when everything felt fine, but it was just one second. She knew deep down that he meant all the things he had said but still she didn't want to get hurt even more, although she was starting to find it a bit difficult for things to turn even worse. He felt like kissing her hand but knew that this wasn't the time and so he just smiled slightly and left her to be. On his way to the upper deck, he met Lady de Salinas who to Henry's demise didn't have Mary with her.</p><p>-Lady de Salinas, where is Mary?</p><p>-Thomas More has her, your Majesty. He wanted to show her around the ship, and I didn't see any problem with it. Is there something wrong?</p><p>-No, nothing, I just got worried. Catherine has requested your presence. We've just been talking, and she has agreed to leave her room and go up to the deck with Mary.</p><p>-I'll go right away your Majesty.</p><p>She bowed and almost ran to Catherine's room. When she opened the door, she saw her roaming through her dresses with a very sad look on her face, her rosary still in her hands. She really didn't want to go outside but knew better than to isolate herself. With quiet footsteps, Maria put one of her hands on the wardrobe door. Catherine saw it and turned to find her beside her, her hands falling to her sides.</p><p>-I've always thought that this pale purple dress looks beautiful on you your Majesty.</p><p>-I want the black one.</p><p>-Your Majesty, please, not today. Try my suggestion, it might cheer you up a bit.</p><p>-Alright. I don't have the strength to fight.</p><p>In the next twenty minutes, Catherine was dress insisting that she could not forgo her corset as Maria had insisted. She brushed the Queen's raven locks before braiding some creating a sort of like diadem. She knew Catherine was not in the mood for accessories or jewellery and so she showed her a pearl tiara and asked her if she wanted to wear it to which surprisingly, she answered yes. Once it was in place Maria headed for the door while Catherine picked her pink velvet robe from her wardrobe. The wooden hall had many doors that she guessed held other rooms, maybe even Thomas'. She hadn't seen him since that argument with the ambassador. She picked up her skirt so she wouldn't step on the hem as she walked up the stairs. The fresh salty air hit her right on the face, the sun bathing her pale skin. The deck held a slippery look to it because of the humidity and the waves that splashed against the sides of the ship. She looked around observing how the men worked, some of them attending to ropes while others cleaned and moped the wooden floors. Lady de Salinas was heading for the back of the ship to what is called the Quarter deck and without questions, Catherine followed her. There, sitting at a table, was Thomas with Mary in his arms, Henry a few feet away staring at the sea. The crewman bowed when the Queen walked pass them returning to their duties immediately after.</p><p>-Your Majesty! – Thomas stood up as he saw her coming up the stairs, a smile on his lips. It was wonderful to see her out and about after the two days she had spent secluded. He was worried it might have been because of her argument with the ambassador, that's why he had stated he would be spending the entire journey in his rooms, but Thomas suspected it was also due to seasickness. Many people were in their rooms because of it but not Catherine, she looked tired and sad but definitely not sick. – I'm very glad you've decided you join us. I hope you are feeling well.</p><p>-I am Mr. more, thank you. – he kissed her hand before giving Mary back to her.</p><p>The little girl laughed, grabbing one of her locks. Henry for the first time in many years saw a genuine smile on his wife's face. It made her look like an angel, like a rose that blooms in adversity. That was his Catherine, burning in the fires of pain, lies and hurt and then coming out stronger, smarter, and even more ravishing than before, like a phoenix. She quickly put the mask of politeness and sat at the table with Thomas, engaging in a little conversation with a smile on her lips, but Henry knew better and could see how her eyes were screaming in pain and sadness.</p><p>-And Mary has already visited the Captain's chambers, with his permission, of course. One of the men wanted to show her the top but it was too dangerous and Lady de Salinas said no.</p><p>-Did she like it?</p><p>-Oh, very much. She also likes to look at the waves, she laughs when the water splashes and a few drops get to her.</p><p>-You like the sea darling? – Catherine smiled down at her baby daughter. She laughed when Mary pointed up to the sky where a bird was flying, screaming, and mumbling happily. Henry watched everything from afar his heart aching to be part of it, but he felt as if Thomas had occupied his place in his wife's life, and to his surprise, he didn't blame her. He was gentle and compassionate, he listened and brought comfort to her soul, something he hadn't been able to do in years. – Mr. More, I've been meaning to apologise.</p><p>-Apologise your Majesty?</p><p>-Yes, for my outburst the other day. I lost my temper with the ambassador and I might have given you the wrong impression. I worry about my people and I don't want them to be against me. It scares me.</p><p>-There's no need for you to apologise. He had lied to you and your reaction was completely understandable your Majesty.</p><p>-Thank you, Thomas. For understanding me and for being so nice to Mary. I'm sure she's given Henry a hard time in the past few days and you helping him, and Lady de Salinas I'm sure has been a great relief.</p><p>-He's my friend and I wanted to help. Between you and me, - he leaned over the table so he could whisper, and Henry wouldn't be able to hear what they were talking about. – why have you locked yourself away for the past two days?</p><p>-Henry thought about divorcing me.</p><p>-He wouldn't!</p><p>-He did. He says that Anne bewitched him and that he loves me, that it was only a thought, but he already had prepared what he would have sent to Rome.</p><p>-Some rumours and whispers say that Anne might be… she might not be normal.</p><p>-Whatever do you mean?</p><p>-I heard that in France she's known for having got involved with men and shortly after they disappeared or left. There are rumours that she might be something unholy.</p><p>-You mean… a witch?</p><p>-Could be. It would explain many things including Henry's behaviour.</p><p>-Henry has always been like this, chasing skirts and what's underneath them.</p><p>-But he's never thought about leaving you before. A divorce is something very complicated and risky. He wouldn't be that stupid and reckless.</p><p>-Then you mean that she might have spelled him? Do you think he might be dangerous? – she looked up watching Henry's back.</p><p>-He sent her away, he told me, so I think he's fine. Maybe she didn't spend enough time with him to fully control him.</p><p>-A witch… Good Heavens. I don't want her to return to court, what if she tries to hurt Mary?</p><p>-She's far away, you are all safe.</p><p>-Thomas, stay here on the deck. – Henry was walking backwards his eyes fixed on the sky. The winds had picked up, the boat rocking from side to side. Suddenly a very loud noise like an explosion enfolded them, Mary jumping in her mother's arms, starting to cry.</p><p>-What's going on? Henry?</p><p>-Catherine, go down to your room with Mary.</p><p>-What's going on? – Catherine stood up bouncing Mary as she tried to calm her down. Henry grabbed her arm and guided her to the stairs, his other hand on the small of her back. Another explosion-like sound filled the air around them, the ship rocking roughly, the waves getting bigger. – Henry, is this a storm?</p><p>-Stay in your room with Mary and don't come out.</p><p>-What about you? – dark clouds covered the sky, a soft rain starting to fall. Lady de Salinas took her to the other set of stairs closing the door so the rain wouldn't get inside. – Henry!</p><p>-His Majesty will stay with Mr. More and help the crewman.</p><p>-No, tell him to come down here.</p><p>-I'm afraid I can't do that, your Majesty. My job is to keep you safe.</p><p>-But… - Maria pushed her inside her room closing the room. The thunders became louder and so did Mary's cries. She tried to rock her gently, but the thunders made it almost impossible for Mary to quiet down. The ship rocked even more roughly making it hard for Catherine to stand. Voices came from the outside, but she could not make out to whom they belonged to. Suddenly a scream reached her ears. Quickly she pushed Mary into Maria's arms, and after kissing her baby's head she rushed out of the room and up to the main deck not paying any attention to Maria's screams and pleads. The rain felt cold against her exposed flesh her eyes roaming the floor in search of her husband. She found him attending to the main mast, a rope in his hands, Thomas pulling with him.</p><p>-Henry! – her voice made him turn and look at her, his eyes wide.</p><p>-What the hell are you doing out?! Go back, Catherine!</p><p>-Not without you!</p><p>-I have to help them! Go back!</p><p>A wave broke over the deck washing over everyone. Catherine coughed and stood up, her clothes wet and heavy, the floor covered in a thin layer of water making her shoes slide over the wood. Henry quickly stood up and pulled on the rope along with Thomas. Catherine took her robe off and threw it down the stairs into the hall along with her pearl tiara before running to pull on the rope as well. They managed to tie it before another wave hit them but this time, they stood their ground, the captain barking orders while steering the ship all the time.</p><p>-Catherine, you are pregnant go back!</p><p>-No! I'm not going anywhere without you!</p><p>-The sails! Store the back sails! – the captain yelled over the sound of the thunders.</p><p>Catherine was about to run to the back when Henry grabbed her wrist making her stop and tied a rope around her waist tightly. Another wave broke over the deck sending Henry backwards over the floor, Catherine landing on her hands and knees. She quickly stood up and made her way to help Henry up.</p><p>-Go to the back and help with the sails Catherine! Leave me!</p><p>He stood up on his own while Catherine went to the back grabbing a rope and pulling as hard as she could. Another thunder broke the air making her jump and lose her footing. The next thing she knew was that she was underwater. Another wave had broken on the deck, submerging her for several seconds. She coughed, water coming out of her mouth as she tried to stand up. Then she heard it; one of the crewmen had yelled man overboard. She hurried to the banister to see who had been but saw no one in the water. Almost jumping down the stairs she went to the main deck and checked again.</p><p>-Henry! – he was swimming roughly against the waves trying to reach the hull, but another stream caused him to submerge again. – HENRY! Give me a rope!</p><p>-Your Majesty!</p><p>-Give me a rope! Now! – one of the boys tied one of the ends and gave the other one to her. Without thinking she jumped overboard, the rope that Henry had tied around her waist would allow them to pull her back into the ship once she had him with her.</p><p>The water was freezing against her skin like daggers that were ripping her skin off, but she had to get to him. She swam to the surface taking a few deep breathes before diving again. She looked around the water, the wind above her head causing her to move roughly as she swam. Then she saw him trying to reach the surface a few feet away. She went up to take a few deep breaths before she paddled in his direction. He saw her and cursed but swam in her direction as well.</p><p>-Henry! – she threw her arms around his neck, tears falling down her cheeks. He hugged her back, his face hiding in the small of her neck. - Are you okay?</p><p>-Catherine! – he placed his hands on each side of her face and kissed her. He was terrified of losing her, but she was so stubborn, and even after the arguments they had had and the things he had done she had jumped into the sea to save him. She kissed him back with as much passion as she could muster before breaking it so they could breathe. – Are you okay Catherine?</p><p>-I'm fine. Here, tie this around your…</p><p>Another wave washed over them sending them several meters underwater. She paddled around trying to find him and saw that he was just a few feet away working on his rope. She felt heavy, very heavy, her arms and legs numb from the cold. She was so tired and wanted to close her eyes, take a nap. Maybe she could sleep for a few minutes. Yes, for a few minutes. She was cold but there was this light not so far away. She wanted to go there but she was frozen, could not move. Why couldn't she? her arms and legs weren't tied but she felt as if she were a rock, heavy underneath the crispy clean water of a lake. Henry was there, coming out of the light but he was so far away, and she was getting even colder. Why wasn't he running towards her, he was fading and so was the light. She looked down and saw that she was soaking wet, freezing. "Catherine". Where did that voice come from? "Catherine". There it was again but this time it was louder. Suddenly she felt the urge to cough, a great pressure invading her lungs. Water came out of her mouth, air filling her insides.</p><p>-Oh God, Catherine! – she opened her eyes, getting up into a sitting position. The storm was behind them, now it was just raining, the waves soft against the hull. She coughed a bit more Henry taking her in his arms, rocking her gently.</p><p>-What… What happened?</p><p>-Oh Catherine, you almost drowned. I managed to get you to the surface in time, and they pulled us up. Why did you jump?</p><p>-You were in danger. I didn't think, I just did it.</p><p>-You saved my life. – she rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes for a minute, her breathing unsteady and heavy.</p><p>-You are my husband and I love you. I couldn't let you die. I just couldn't.</p><p>-I love you so much. I thought I had lost you. – was he crying? Oh, Lord, he was. She kneeled and hugged him his arms around her torso as if he were afraid, she might disappear. He cried hiding his face on her neck, Catherine trying to reassure him that she was there and that she was fine. He raised his head after a few minutes, drying his face with his damp sleeve. – Don't you ever do that again; do you hear me? I'm not going to lose you, Mary needs you, I need you, our baby needs you.</p><p>-Alright. I won't jump into the sea to save you again, I promise.</p><p>-Do really mean it?</p><p>-I promise Henry. I promise. – she smiled and gave him a short kiss on the lips before she hugged him again.</p><p>He stood up and took Catherine in his arms, the rain becoming softer, almost like a shower, but the sky still held a dark tint to it. He carried her down the stairs and to the other end of the hall. With his back, he pushed the door open. Maria rushed to them, Mary laying on her cot, cooing lightly.</p><p>-Your Majesty! What happened? Is she alright?</p><p>-Everything is fine Lady de Salinas. There was a problem up on the deck and she solved it. She needs to rest now, so you can leave, I'll stay with them.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty. I'll go and see if Mr. More and the other men need help.</p><p>Bowing her head, she closed the door. Henry placed Catherine at the foot of the bed and helped her take her shoes and stockings off. The dress was soaking wet and felt very heavy and cold against her skin. Henry helped her up and undid her corset, Catherine peeling the gown off her body as he walked to the wardrobe and took some linen cloths out so Catherine could dry herself. She took her chemise off standing naked in the room. Henry handed her a smaller cloth as he wrapped the bigger one around her back and shoulders.</p><p>-Are you cold? – he rubbed her rear as she worked on her legs.</p><p>-Yes, but I think I'm getting warmer.</p><p>-I'll get you a dry chemise. – she finished drying her body and started working on her hair, unbraiding it and drying it with the cloth. He took them off her hands and handed her the dry attire. He hadn't seen her fully naked in a long time and even though she had a bit of a belly, something he expected after four pregnancies, her thighs were bigger and her breasts fuller she still looked ravishing to him, like a nymph, her raven locks contrasting with her pale skin. She saw how he was looking at her, lusting after her, roaming her body up and down but he didn't make any moves, and she really appreciated it. She was too tired and didn't feel like doing anything, at least not at that moment. She put the chemise on and sat at the edge of the bed.</p><p>-Go and change Henry, you must be cold as well.</p><p>-I'll get a dry pair of hose and a shirt and I'll be right back. Will you be okay on your own?</p><p>-Yes, I'm fine, really. Go.</p><p>He left the room after having picked up her wet clothes. Catherine walked over to the cot and looked down to see Mary almost asleep. She had risked her life and her baby's, she knew it had been a very foolish thing to do, but at that moment she hadn't thought about anything but saving him. Every argument, every infidelity, every bad word, and insult hadn't been important then, just that she had to save him. She caressed Mary's cheek, the soft skin of her daughter making her feel warmer, the events of the day forgotten. She had almost died today and still, she didn't regret any of the things she had done and she would gladly repeat them again. The door creaked and Henry came in barefooted with a white shirt and a pair of black like trousers. He walked over to the crib, staring at the sleeping form of his daughter as his wife caressed Mary's cheek.</p><p>-I know that what I did was stupid, but I had to.</p><p>-It was reckless, and you could have died, well, you almost did… but you saved me. Thank you.</p><p>-I couldn't let you drown. I hated the idea of losing you and I just jumped, but I'm fine and the baby is as well. Everything is over.</p><p>-At least Mary is asleep. The storm hasn't scared her too much. Do you think she'll be afraid of the sea?</p><p>-No. She's very young. She was mainly scared of the loud noises. Now that everything is quiet, she's fine, you can see it. - She rubbed her neck with her free hand, the tension that was leaving her body made her feel drained, exhausted. Henry grabbed her arms and carefully guided her to the bed, pulling the covers off the mattress letting Catherine fall on it, her eyes heavy. He was going to head for a chair when she took hold of his hand, pulling him down onto the bed with her. He laid beside her taking her in his arms, her head resting on his chest.</p><p>-I'm really sorry Catherine. I've been a complete idiot all these years, I've been acting like a bastard and I know I deserve all the insults and bad treatments in the world. I've hurt you and taken you for granted and while you were grieving, I was with another woman. I feel horrible about it and I want you to know that all that is over. Anne won't be coming back into our lives again, she's in the past. From now on it will be just you, Mary, our baby and I. You've risked your life for me even after all the things I've done and the amount of pain I've inflicted you and that made me realise how important you are and how much I love you. Everything will be different now, I promise. I love you.</p><p>Her breathing was slow and quiet, and he knew that she had fallen asleep. He caressed her raven locks before pulling the covers over them, closing his own eyes, and in her half-asleep state Catherine whispered a sweet "I love you too".</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the last day of their journey and the shore could be seen from afar. Catherine could feel her heart beating fast and hard against her ribs as she saw her land getting closer and closer. Mary was with Lady de Salinas in her room, asleep, while Thomas and Henry played cards in his room. Under her strict orders, Henry was not allowed to see or even try to communicate with Mary after what Catherine had found out. While he slept, she went to his room to bring him some clean clothes but saw a box with small parchments on his table and her curiosity got the best of her as she picked one up. They were letters. She unfolded one and read carefully it's words. How stupid it would have been for her to believe that everything had been Anne's doing. The words he had written to her explained how he felt, how much he missed her, how he couldn't wait to see her and hold her and take care of their son; he explained that he was only going with her because he was her husband, but nothing could fix what was already dead and almost buried, meaning their marriage. Of course, he had just wanted her to believe that he had understood everything and was willing to become the husband she so wanted for some reason. Anne might be a witch, but Henry certainly hadn't been spelled, he was just a two-face prick. She had folded it and put it back, picking some dry clothes up and taking them to her room. He looked so innocent as he slept in her bed, but in reality, he was just as happy to be beside her as a fish would love to be out of water.</p><p>He had lied to her; he had spent his free time writing these stupid letters so they could be sent to England once they reached the mainland. She would be forever in his life, that Anne, that stupid foolish woman. Catherine almost felt sorry for her. She might be being used by Henry just as she once had been, but it always takes two to tango. He had allowed her into his life, he had displayed her in court as if she were a trophy right in front of her, giving her privileges that no other woman in court had except for Catherine herself. She had played the nice lady in the past day, smiling and talking with him as if everything were fine, but she definitely hated him to the point of maybe not even allowing him to leave the ship but that would raise too many questions. She would have to find out what he was planning, why he was doing this before it was too late before he did something that she couldn't fix before he took a step in the wrong direction.</p><p>A hand on her shoulder startled her, her head turning from side to side until she saw that it was Thomas.</p><p>-That right in front of us is…?</p><p>-The northern part of the country: el Principado de Asturias, the kingdom of Galicia… We are heading for Santander.</p><p>-Is it pretty?</p><p>-It's so green Mr. More. It's small but so very beautiful. The people are very friendly and even though many citizens died during the plague in 1497, my brother Juan included, it's one of the best harbours we've got.</p><p>-Are there any churches?</p><p>-Obviously. Many, as well as a Cathedral. But the main source of income are the farms.</p><p>-You haven't been in years to Spain and you speak of it as if you had never left, as if you walk among your people, as if you were just one of them.</p><p>-In a way I am. God made us all equal but allowed some of them to rise and turned a few into the leaders that he thought they needed. I am that leader, but I do not feel superior to them. I'm like their mother. I have to help them, raise them, take care of them and most all, love them.</p><p>-But you know that not everything is related to your people.</p><p>-I know. There will be other kingdoms that will try to destroy our peace, but I will not allow it. I'm a fair woman but I do not stand for bullying or humiliations.</p><p>-You will be a magnificent Queen, your Majesty.</p><p>-Better than Henry I'm sure.</p><p>-Your Majesty? I thought everything was fine between you since you saved him.</p><p>-I thought so as well, but how can you say to a woman that you love her, that everything will be fine, that the only girl in his life will be her when you are writing letters to the other one.</p><p>-I don't quite get it, your Majesty.</p><p>-henry has been writing to Anne.</p><p>-Maybe they are old letters.</p><p>-Oh, no. I've read them and he explains everything that has happened in this journey up to yesterday. He thinks he's played his cards well and that he's won, and I will make him believe so because I know he's planning something, and I want to know what.</p><p>-Planning something?</p><p>-He had everything ready for the divorce, but something changed. Something happened and he stopped all his plans. I know he's after something but I'm not sure what. I think I might have an idea, but I don't want to believe it.</p><p>-What idea?</p><p>-He wouldn't try to take my kingdoms, would he?</p><p>-That's what you think he's planning? You think he's going try to take your lands?</p><p>-It would explain why he's been acting like this. I know him and he's not sweet or compassionate and he certainly doesn't care about me or Mary. He's been buttering my ear because he thinks it's going to take him somewhere, and I think that what he wants is to steal my crown.</p><p>-He can't, he's just your husband, what could he do?</p><p>-Declare me mad like they tried to do with my sister?</p><p>-Even so, if you do not allow him, if he is not crowned King, he can't claim anything. Everything will go directly to your daughter.</p><p>-Nonsense, he will have power over everything I've ever had because he would be king regent. If something were to happen to me before Mary comes off age, he would have everything.</p><p>-That's what you think he wants?</p><p>-It's perfect. If I accidentally die, he'll have everything, and Anne will become his Queen. Everything was so clear; how could I have been so blind? Of course, Anne is just a girl, he's the problem. He's the one that is planning to kill me.</p><p>-Don't you think that's a bit too much even for Henry?</p><p>-With me alive everything will be difficult for him, he'll just be my husband, people won't try to please him or give him presents, everything will come to me. With the Pope by my side and with my great army he will be forgotten. What has he done so far for history? Nothing except mistreat the Irish. He wants all the attention and he will get it one way or another. That's something I've learned from him. He gets what he wants regardless of the methods. If this baby isn't a boy, he'll try to erase me, I'm sure.</p><p>-Are you in danger?</p><p>-Not yet. He'll wait until the baby is born after that anything could happen. He's been painting himself in the best light possible, blaming Anne for everything. I don't like the girl, she's my husband's mistress but I know that she hasn't chosen this life. Henry is playing with her I'm sure.</p><p>-I can't believe he really would be planning something like this.</p><p>-You are his friend and can't see him as the horrible man he is. At least not fully. You've spent your life beside him; you just can't see him for what he has turned into, but I don't blame you.</p><p>-He might be my friend, but I won't allow him to hurt you.</p><p>-Thomas, please, don't do this.</p><p>-I'm sorry, but I just don't care. I had a happy life with Alice, but she's been long gone and even she knew how fond I was of you even before you were married, Henry. I was so taken by your strength and how you recovered from the illness that took Arthur that I just couldn't believe what I was feeling. I love you, and I hold you even dearer than my own life. I just can't even think of you getting hurt and much less by the hands of Henry. He chased you, he wanted you since the first minute he laid eyes on you before you married Arthur and he didn't stop until he had you. He loves you; I know it.</p><p>-I highly doubt it. He might have loved me once, but what he's doing to me is not something you do to the person you swore to love, cherish, and protect. I love him, I can't help it, and I'm very fond of you Thomas, but you know that we can't do anything.</p><p>-I will wait, as I've told you before. I won't pressure you and I most certainly won't do anything you don't want me to do. I will wait and if our moment never comes then it shall be as God says.</p><p>-If we are meant to be together God will make it happen Thomas. I have faith that if things do not please God, he will find a way of granting us happiness. The Lord works in mysterious ways.</p><p>-Are you giving me hope?</p><p>-I'm giving you faith.</p><p>-We'll be docking in a few minutes! Back the sails and tie the ropes!</p><p>The captain steered the ship as they got closer to shore. Catherine could make out the shapes of the houses, the forests in the back a deep shade of green. In between a church stood proudly, its white walls contrasting with the green colours that were surrounding it. Her heart skipped a bit, a smile on her face as the harbour becoming larger as they approached it. Catherine turned to look at Thomas who was watching the landscape with wide eyes. Is as if he had never seen anything like that before. Small houses made of wood and stone graced the coast, endless fields of green grass at the East and West, the mountains in the background. She had been right, it was beautiful with the waves breaking against the cliffs, the beaches filled with white sand. The sun was rising giving the town a very ethereal look as if it were something out of a fairy-tale. Even the air smelled different! Thomas felt so refreshed as he saw Spain for the first time, and in this moment of happiness decided to take her hand, holding it. She should have pushed his hand away, but his warmth felt comforting. She wouldn't do it, not today.</p><p>Henry walked up to the deck to see Catherine pointing at something with one hand, but she was holding hands with Thomas. Maybe it was nothing, maybe she was just showing him around, but he didn't like how close they were. Everything was fine between Catherine and him now and he wouldn't allow for anyone to disturb that. Everything was going according to his plan. If things took too long, he would make some sort of excuse so he could return to England and spend time with Anne and their baby if he had been born in the time he was away. He was sure Catherine would fail in her mission yet again and either give him another girl or miscarry, so the future of his kingdom relayed in Anne's womb. Maybe the physician had been wrong, and Catherine wasn't even pregnant, and she had got her hopes up for nothing. He couldn't deny that Catherine even after four pregnancies was still a very beautiful woman, with curves in the right place and very full and broad attributes, her eyes a very light shade of blue but they would darken if she was angry or sad and her skin pale and soft to the touch. She was exquisite but, in his eyes, Anne was even better. After a few minutes, he decided to break their conversation and approached Catherine from behind, his arms circling her waist. Her first reaction was to jump and then look around. She breathed a sigh of relief when she was that it was Henry and quickly let go of Thomas' hand.</p><p>-We are almost there.</p><p>-Yes. Almost. – she smiled politely at him before returning her eyesight back to the shore. She could use those masks she was so famous for around court on Henry as well and the idiot believed her.</p><p>-Isn't the town rather small?</p><p>-It's a farmer's town Henry, and it suffered a great illness many years ago. They don't need it to be big because they live from their animals and the ground. They don't need visitors.</p><p>-What do they produce?</p><p>-Many things. They produce cereals, vegetables, fruits… They also produce wine, but the best ones come from a bit more to the east of the country. Very close to Navarra. They also produce milk, very good quality milk, and meat, especially cows, trout, and salmon.</p><p>-Do they export to the rest of the country?</p><p>-Of course. The Cantabrian meat is excellent compared to the Castilian cows. The main products are milk and meat.</p><p>-You've been away for a long time, maybe things have changed.</p><p>-Not this. When a county produces certain products and they know they work they are not going to risk changing it and losing their steady incomes. They might have introduced other animals but never really give up on what they know will put food on their tables.</p><p>-You seem to know more about the finances of Spain than what's going on in England.</p><p>-I leave that to you, Henry. It will allow me time to study and see which sectors are working and which ones need help in my country.</p><p>-You shouldn't do that, let other people take care of that. We should throw a party.</p><p>-No Henry, no parties. We are a wealthy country, but I do not think a party is the best thing right now. Many other things need to be taken care of.</p><p>-Really Catherine? You are home, that deserves a celebration.</p><p>-I said no Henry. I won't repeat myself twice. – she pushed his arms off her waist and started pacing, her eyes never leaving Thomas figure. - We need to go to Valladolid so the matter of Aragon's letter can be discussed as soon as possible and therefore, fixed. After that, we'll head to Zaragoza and see why they don't accept me as Queen. That is the main issue right now and that's what will fix first, have I made myself clear?</p><p>-Yes. Are you okay Catherine? You seem… mad.</p><p>-I'm fine, just nervous. There are so many things I have to do, and I just really don't think it's time for festivities.</p><p>-You should take things easy your Majesty. Remember that you are expecting and too much stress might not be the best things for you or the child.</p><p>-She knows Thomas, and since I'm her husband I will take care of her.</p><p>-Of course, your Majesty.</p><p>-Will they come to pick us up, Catherine?</p><p>-I suppose so, but it was rather sudden, and they might not know about our arrival.</p><p>-They do your Majesty. – Ambassador Chapuys walked up the stairs a bit wobbly, his face really pale and a handkerchief in his hand. – I sent a boy on a boat to France so he would get here before we did and inform of our imminent arrival. I suppose he made it. Excuse me.</p><p>He ran back to his room as his face turned a really ugly shade of green. As the crew tied the last few ropes they docked in the harbour, the fishermen pointing at them with surprised expressions. After placing the gangway between the ship and the sand path the captain went to shake Henry's hand and kiss Catherine's before walking away. Her heart was pounding so fast and hard against her ribs that a ringing sensation had come to her ears drowning the voices around her. Thomas' hand on her shoulder brought her back, the noises disappearing. Henry was already walking out of the ship, Lady de Salinas waiting for Catherine's nod with Mary asleep in her arms. She took two steps, a deep breath to calm her nerves, and stepped on the wooden gangway. It creaked underneath her weight but stood sturdy enough underneath her, Thomas and Maria following her. She walked slowly, maybe too slowly but the instant she set foot over the sandy path she felt as if she had crossed a door to a new beautiful world. The hurrays' coming from the fishermen in her native language and their claps washed over her entire being, a smile gracing her lips as she took a few more steps towards the main street. She felt as if she was seeing everything for the first time and at the same time, everything felt just like she had known when she was little, undisturbed through time. A procession of men wearing dark clothes led by an elderly cardinal approached them.</p><p>-Su Majestad. (Your Majesty) – the group bowed before her, Henry in the background watching everything with a rather annoyed look on his face. – Es un honor volver a verla aunque haya sido tras estos hechos tan entristecedores. Como cardenal me veo en la labor de decirle que la acompaño en el sentimiento y espero que en sus plegarias esté recordando a su familia. (It's an honour to see you again even after such sad incidents. As Cardinal I feel like it's my duty to say, my condolences for your loss, and that I hope that you are remembering your family in your prayers)</p><p>-Cardenal Cisneros, es un placer volver a verle. Como buena católica recuerdo a todos mis seres queridos en mis plegarias. (Cardinal Cisneros, it's a pleasure to see you again. As the good catholic I am I remember all my loved ones in my prayers.)</p><p>-Las cortes castellanas la esperan. El palacio Testamentario me temo que no está en muy buenas condiciones, pero espero que sea de su agrado. (The Castilian parliament is waiting for you. But I'm afraid the royal Testamentary palace is not in a very good condition, but I hope everything is to your liking.)</p><p>- ¿Por qué no está en buenas condiciones? Pensaba que como residencia oficial debería de mantenerse a la altura. Mi hermana Juana no lo hubiera permitido. (Why isn't it in a Good condition? I thought that since it was an official residence it would be maintained due to its standards. My sister Juana would not have allowed this.)</p><p>-Casi no se ha usado desde el fallecimiento de su majestad la reina Isabel y los costes de mantenimiento de ciertos edificios se han visto mermados. (It has hardly been used since the passing of her Majesty Queen Isabel and the costs of maintenance of certain buildings have been cut.)</p><p>- ¿Por qué Cardenal? Pensaba que tras el descubrimiento de América y el comercio con las colonias el país estaba económicamente en su momento más álgido. (Why Cardinal? I thought that since the discovery of America and the trading with the colonies the economy of the country was at its best.)</p><p>-Ha sido simplemente que el dinero se ha destinado a otros propósitos. (It's just that the money has been destined to other purposes.)</p><p>-Bueno, a nuestra llegada a Medina del Campo quiero todos los libros de cuentas para saber específicamente a que se está destinando el dinero del pueblo. El día después de nuestra llegada se convocarán cortes, hay ciertos temas que debemos discutir. (Well, upon our arrival at Medina del Campo I want all the ledger so I can know to what specifically the money of the people is going. The day after our arrival I shall summon the parliament, there are certain things that need to be discussed.)</p><p>-Por supuesto su Majestad. (Of course your Majesty.)</p><p>-Le presento a mi esposo, Enrique VIII, Rey de Inglaterra, Mari de Salinas, supongo que la recuerda. (Let me introduce my husband, Henry VIII, King of England; María de Salinas, who I believe you must remember.)</p><p>-Por supuesto su Majestad. Un placer volver verla. (Of course, your Majesty. A pleasure to meet you again.) – he bowed before Henry and kissed Maria's hand carefully as not to disturb little Mary.</p><p>-Mi hija María, princesa de Inglaterra y mi canciller temporal Thomas More. (My daughter Mary, princess of England and my temporary chancellor Thomas More.)</p><p>-Canciller temporal? Esperaba que esa posición fuera ocupada por un miembro de la corte española. (Temporary chancellor? I hoped that position would be filled by a member of the Spanish court.)</p><p>-Confío en Thomas y sé que no dará ningún problema. Si encuentro a alguien más cualificado que él no dudaré en cambiarle, pero hasta el momento él será mi canciller. (I trust Thomas and I know that he won't cause any problems. If I find some with better qualifications, I won't doubt it and will replace him but for the moment he will be my chancellor.)</p><p>-Por supuesto su Majestad. Deberíamos irnos ya, tardaremos en llegar entre un día y medio o dos. Si prefiere parar para descansar en algún lugar… (Of course your Majesty. We should get going, it'll be between a day and a half and two days. If you want to stop and rest somewhere…)</p><p>-No. Viajaremos directamente hasta Medina del Campo. No podemos perder más tiempo. (No. We shall travel directly to Medina del Campo. We can't lose more time.)</p><p>-Si me sigue los llevaremos hasta sus carruajes sus Majestades. (If you follow me, we'll take you to your carriages your Majesties.)</p><p>Taking the Cardinals' extended hand Catherine followed him down the street, Henry and Thomas behind them. People came out to the streets screaming and waving happily. Catherine smiled politely and waved back pride making her heart swell. If her parents could see her. In a matter of just a few minutes, the streets found themselves filled with people, flowers flying from windows and the bells from the church ringing. Henry could not believe how loved his wife was even if she hadn't been back in years the people still adored her as much as the English people did. She was just a woman why did they respect her so much? He was jealous but he wouldn't admit it as cheers and screams of "¡Viva la Reina! (Hail the Queen!)", "¡Larga vida a la Reina! (Long live the Queen!)", "¡Viva la Reina Catalina! (Hail Queen Catalina!)" filled his head. She was just a woman why were they doing this? They should be hailing him, not her, he was a man and the King, not her. It was infuriating how she was getting all the attention. The voices had woken Mary up and squeaking happily and moving her arms up and down at the people. Once they reached the carriages Henry and Catherine entered the first one flowed by Lady de Salinas. Catherine wished Thomas would accompany them but Cardinal Cisneros and the ambassador who now looked less green had asked him to join them in their carriage and he couldn't refuse. As they started their last part of their journey the voices of the people slowly became lost and an awkward silence filled the chariot.</p><p>-They like you a lot. – Henry spoke after a few minutes, a tone of jealousy in his voice that Catherine noticed and made her even madder at him. He was having an affair and planning on stealing her crown, even if she had no proof of that, and he was the one who spoke to her like that, with that tone of anger and jealousy?</p><p>-Yes, since I'm the youngest and my parents were very loved and made this country what it is now, they trust me and since I was a little girl I helped and loved my people.</p><p>-I see. They'll be happy that you have returned. Maybe you stay here forever.</p><p>-Oh no. We will return to England, but I'll come every once in a while, to make sure I keep an eye on things myself.</p><p>-Of course, wouldn't want them to think you prefer them over me or my people.</p><p>-What is that supposed to mean?</p><p>-Nothing. I just thought that I should be important here as well.</p><p>-You are, you are my husband.</p><p>-I'm not just your husband Catherine!</p><p>-Yes, you are Henry. I don't understand what you are implying.</p><p>-I'm the King and should be treated as such! I should be beside you not behind you.</p><p>-Really? You are telling me that you are equal to me? This is really childish and foolish Henry.</p><p>-We shall see about that.</p><p>-What happened Henry? Everything was so… perfect. Are you really going to get mad about something like this? – "Maybe I should write a letter to Anne and explain what happened today and how much it has hurt your ego that the people haven't kissed you and the floor you walk upon." Catherine thought as she took Mary in her arms showing her what was outside the window.</p><p>-Maybe you are right. There will be time for me in the future. Forgive me, Catherine.</p><p>"Time for me in the future", oh poor Henry he really thought he was going to get away with it Catherine thought as the green woods disappeared and made way for the imponent mountains that surrounded the coastal towns.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry you won't be getting any updates in the next 2 weeks or so but I'll be busy and I won't have time to post them, but I'll keep on working on them and you'll get them as soon as I finish them. Another thing that I've been meaning to say is that I'm not very happy with chapter 7 so I might rewrite it and post it once I'm free again. Thanks sooooo much for your support and if you would like for something to happen you can send me a PM or leave a comment and I'll try to add it. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-It is quite obvious that after that fire the farmers in Caceres needed more money but that doesn't mean that you have to cut the exports from Albacete to maintain enough money in the accounts.</p><p>-but it was an emergency your Majesty and I can assure you that the albaceteños didn't suffer.</p><p>-Says the man who doesn't need to work out in the sun every day to feed his family. The cereal exports will resume and the payments for the textile products that come from Cataluña will decrease.</p><p>-Decrease?</p><p>-Yes. They've been receiving too much money in the past few years. You can see it in the ledgers. They export to other counties and countries and have enough income to survive if we lower them a bit.</p><p>-How much?</p><p>-10 ducats will be enough, don't you think?</p><p>-It is not much so they might not get too mad. 10 ducats monthly no?</p><p>-Yes. I don't want to be too rough on them. What do you think Thomas?</p><p>-Well, I think Cardinal Cisneros could have thought about doing it some other way instead of cutting the exports but what is done is done. Now, 10 ducats is not a very high amount and should be enough to make up for the loses Albacete had suffered.</p><p>-You mean to give that money directly to the farmers? That's an outrage! They should earn it Mr. More.</p><p>-Cardinal, please, don't lose your temper. I agree with Mr. More. Caceres has received enough money to fix the problems they've been facing since the fire and those 10 ducats will help the Albacete farmers establish their communities and work again. It will be done as soon as possible and there won't be an argument about it.</p><p>-Yes, your Majesty.</p><p>-Now, about the castle itself. The palace looks bad and I don't understand how it is possible if this is the official residence in Valladolid. Didn't my sister Juana ever summon parliament?</p><p>-Very few times I'm afraid.</p><p>-Well, it will be used more often now and therefore I want that at least 5% of what we earn from the trades with colonies goes directly to the maintenance and repairs of this palace, at least for now. I'm rather with the ledges of the past few years and I shan't change any payments, exports or imports, except for what has already been stated unless I see that there are problems. Because there are no problems that haven't been mentioned no Cardinal?</p><p>-There have been a few… encounters between the Portuguese and our colonizers near the amazon forest in the southern region of Perú, but there shouldn't be any problems once you send the army.</p><p>-I won't do such thing Cardinal.</p><p>-They are invading our land and breaking our agreement.</p><p>-I'm sure this problem can be solved between the King of Portugal and me. I don't believe in using force for everything. You shall send a letter to him asking whether he wants to meet me and discuss these incidents. In the meantime, we shall wait until tomorrow's parliamentary session to discuss the rest of the issues. You are dismissed.</p><p>-Your Majesty.</p><p>Cardinal Cisneros bowed and picked up the heavy ledgers to put them back in his study. As she had gone through the pages, she had noticed that there were a few months were money had disappeared, the expenses and the incomes didn't match, it wasn't much but enough to unbalance the accounts. She suspected that they were taking money, something she found deplorable and disgusting, but she wanted to investigate the matter a bit more before accusing anyone of stealing. She was sure Thomas had noticed it too but he was too much of a gentleman to say anything out loud if she hadn't mentioned it in case he caused trouble or the Cardinal made any remarks about a foreigner having come to his country to accuse him of stealing. As Catherine finished writing in a small parchment figures and sporadic words Thomas was sure she understood even if to him they made no sense there was a knock on the door. He stood up to open it since Catherine was too busy only to see that it was Henry, he was wearing a white shirt and just a pair of black trousers while he held two goblets filled up to the brim with wine. He made his way to the table placing one of the goblets in front of Catherine who didn't look up from her notes much to Henry's dismay.</p><p>-If my services are not required any more I shall retire for the night your Majesty.</p><p>-Of course, Thomas, just remember that I need you to be up and about early in the morning. Good night. – he reassured her he would be ready by dawn and after bowing closed the door leaving the two monarchs alone.</p><p>-You've been working since we got here, come on, let's go to bed.</p><p>-I still have to figure a couple of things out henry, you go to sleep.</p><p>-I'll stay here until you are ready to go.</p><p>-Henry, please, leave me alone, I'm working and I'm tired. I don't want to snap at you right now.</p><p>-I'm staying and there's no arguing about it. You've hardly got any sleep in the last couple of days and I want to make sure you are fine, that the baby is fine.</p><p>-I'm fine, the child is fine, get out. – he was getting on her nerves with this annoying attitude of overprotective husband, rage rising within her body, as she added a few more numbers to her column of expenses.</p><p>-You are acting like a grumpy old woman.</p><p>-I beg you pardon? – the notes were forgotten as she raised her head to look at Henry's figure, sitting on a chair with his feet up on the table as he took small sips from his wine.</p><p>-I knew that would get your attention. You've been acting distant and since the moment we arrived here you've had your head buried in between those books. You are acting as if you are mad or angry at the world, and you hardly have a reason for it.</p><p>-Since when do you know what's going on in my life and inside my head? – if voices could kill Henry would be laying on the floor but the only reaction her angry voice got was for henry to get up from his chair leaving the goblet on the table.</p><p>-Wow, calm down Catherine I'm just trying to help you by telling you what I think.</p><p>-I didn't ask for your bloody opinion mister I'm perfect! – she stood up with such force that she knocked her chair over, landing on the floor with a loud clank noise, her legs working on their own accord as she got closer to him. The rage in her eyes thrilled him as much as it scared him his palms growing sweaty. – I have plenty to be mad about and if I weren't a woman of peace, I would have snapped your neck after your first betrayal but here I am!</p><p>She pushed him against the wall with her hands on his shoulders, her breathing ragged and quick. The next thing she knew was that he was kissing her roughly, his hands on each side of her face. She knew she should not allow this to happen that he would think he had full control over her but at the same time she felt as if she was the one dominating the situation for the first time and to be honest, she loved it. Bringing her hands up to his hair she grabbed it and pressed herself against him as she kissed him even more roughly biting his lip so hard, she knew she had drawn blood out. She hardly gave him time to breathe before she went in for another kiss, her hands grabbing now his shirt and moving backwards with him until she hit the table with her legs, the goblets shaking violently for a moment. His hands worked fast on the laces and buttons of her dress pushing it off her shoulders as quickly as he could before she broke the kiss, her breathing frantic as she pulled on her sleeves. Henry pushed the dress of her hips, the gown falling to the floor with a quiet thump before his lips settled over Catherine's neck, sucking lightly. The posture was a bit uncomfortable since Henry was taller than her, so she jumped and sat on the table pulling him down with her, the goblets falling to the floor as wine spilled all over the floor but for Henry, this new posture was rather difficult to maintain as he kissed her neck and what was exposed of her chest over the corset so he picked her up and pushed her against the wall her legs wrapping themselves around his hips as she claimed his lips once more. With her back supported against the stone wall his hands were free to roam her soft and long legs hunching her petticoat at her hips, his lips kissing and sucking what he could see of her breasts since her corset was still in place, but he found this of not being fully naked even more exciting, Catherine's moans quiet, and her skin flushed, but what made it even more thrilling was the idea that someone might come in and catch them like this, the Queen in full ecstasy in her study. She couldn't wait any longer and pushed Henry's pants down as best as she could stroking him with one of her hands, the other one in his shoulder for leverage. She guided him inside her and in one swift movement he filled her causing her eyes to close and a gasp to escape her lips, him giving her a few minutes to adjust before he started moving, slowly at first. Her eyes shot open after a few minutes, her blue coloured eyes darker than ever before, as her grip on his shoulders became almost painful and her hoarse voice demanded him to go faster and harder. Her breathing was quick as she pulled her head back against the wall, Henry's picking up his pace, the sound of flesh slapping over flesh filled the room. She was close but wanted more, needed more and so she pushed him away and out of her, Henry surprised and rather annoyed was about to protest when Catherine pushed him roughly to the floor, his elbows hitting the stone painfully, and she climbed on top of him guiding him inside her again. She had never treated him like this before, pushing him around, scratching him, demanding him to this and do that but he was loving every second of it, strangely since he had always liked to be in control, in charge but there was something about her now that he just couldn't resist. She moved up and down her hands resting on his chest while he gripped her hips as she quickly picked up her pace her whimpers and moans getting louder. Henry pushed his hips up following Catherine's tempo as that well-known feeling began to wash over them both, Catherine trying to move faster and harder against his hips as she came closer and closer to her release. Her entire body shook for two seconds before she pulled her head back as she climaxed, her muscles clenching around him and a guttural moan escaped from her throat. Henry pushed a couple more times into her before he found his own release, Catherine's limp body falling over his chest as she tried to calm herself and her frantic breathing. It took them several seconds to recover, Catherine getting off of him and laid on the floor beside him.</p><p>-That was awesome. If being under so much stress is going to bring this on all the time I can't wait until we are crown King and Queen. – he pulled his pants up and sat on the floor, his back resting on one of the legs of the table a stupid smile plastered across his face.</p><p>-What are you talking about "King and Queen"?</p><p>-You know, when we are crowned, and you stress yourself to no end since you want to keep an eye on everything and not let others work for you taking some of the weight off your shoulders.</p><p>-Henry, slow it down because I think I might have misheard you. Did you say when we are crowned?</p><p>-Yes. You know when some cardinal puts a crown on your head and declares you King and Queen of a territory. You know what I'm talking about.</p><p>-Don't patronise me Henry, because the only one who is going to be crowned something is going to be me.</p><p>-What?</p><p>-You thought you were going to be King? Alright, we can prepare a small ceremony, so you'll be King consort or Prince. Whatever you prefer. – after picking up her dress, her legs still a bit wobbly she went over to fold her parchments and put them away in a drawer.</p><p>-What the hell Catherine?! I'm your husband and I should have full right over your lands! – Henry's temper was flaring again after these past few days and to be honest, Catherine had been expecting it, he had behaving too weirdly.</p><p>-No, you should not. You are just my husband and I can choose who has rights over my land and people, and you certainly won't. You thought you were going to become King? – She hated it when she was right, she hated it so much.</p><p>-As my wife, you have full rights over the English crown, why not me over Spain and the Empire?!</p><p>-Because you would use my army, my soldiers for your own political proposes and I'm not having that! I won't allow innocent men to be killed because of your stupid ego!</p><p>-It's my right! I'm more qualified than you! – he stood up his fists landing fiercely on the table making it shake.</p><p>-Says the man who has done nothing in the past eight years apart from scaring the living hell out of the Irish! Have you signed any treaties? Have you signed trading contracts with the Portuguese, Spanish or French colonies? Have you done something else apart from sleeping with my ladies and looking for mistresses?</p><p>-Why is it always the same with you?! I'm not made of stone dammit, Catherine!</p><p>-And I won't allow you to steal my crown! This is my birth right and even if you can't understand that I'm the one who makes the decisions now and you won't be crowned King! Whatever you were planning to get me out of the way won't happen, so decide what you want to do: stay with me and assume your new position as a consort or go back to England with Anne, but you'll have to face the consequences.</p><p>-Consequences? You don't have the courage to start a war with England.</p><p>-They are my people as well and I wouldn't dream of hurting them, but I can hurt you by stopping all our exports and imports and by reducing your income. Darling, I'm still Queen of England and I can make your life a living hell. You are no longer Henry VIII, King of England, and me just your wife, now you are just my husband. If you thought I would be stupid enough to grant you any saying or privilege over my kingdom then you obviously don't know me at all.</p><p>-You wouldn't.</p><p>-Want to try me? Will you risk your way of life, Henry? – her eyebrows raised as if she were challenging him, her chin up.</p><p>-You are playing with fire Catherine.</p><p>-Am I? – she took a few slow steps and leaned in his direction, her breasts trying to escape from their confinement. – I'm the fire Henry, and if you are not careful, you'll get burned.</p><p>-Is that a threat?</p><p>-Henry, you are my husband, the father of my children and I love you, but if see you as a menace, I'll have to deal with you. Believe me, I do not want to do it if I'm forced to, I'll do it without a doubt. Understand this: I'm in control now and you won't be my priority until you show me that you know where you stand and that you see that I'm your wife and not a property, possession, or a prize to be won. I'm a person and your actions hurt me, but I won't sit here and be humiliated no more. One single rumour about you having had an affair and I'll send you back to England and you'll have to face the consequences.</p><p>-You really think I'm going to be subjected to these terms?</p><p>-I've given you two options. Now, I'll be going to bed, I'm worn out. You've done really well Henry; we might repeat this in the future. -giving him a short peck on the lips she headed for the door but decided to turn her head to look at him before she left. – One more thing; you should tell Anne in your next letter about what we've just done, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know you sometimes don't think about her. Good night.</p><p>With a satisfactory smile, she closed the door and as she walked away towards her rooms, she heard him come out. She felt his eyes on her back but continued walking down the hall the chilly air of the night that came through the broken windows making her shivers. She was upset about having found out she had been right about her suspicions that Henry had wanted to take control of her kingdom, but she was extremely proud of herself as well. She had played his game all this time but now they would play hers and in this one, Henry had only too options, either he shallowed his pride and acknowledged his new position or she would have to get rid of him. She'd rather have Mary and her unborn child grown up without a father than have them feel sorry for her while her entire kingdom criticised her non-existent ability to keep her husband from wandering around other bedrooms. If he betrayed her one more time, just one, even if it was just a rumour there will be hell to pay.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as she closed the door, she threw her dress across it in frustration before pacing up and down. How dare he say he had the right to have power over her kingdom?! She hated him so much that she was really thinking about forbidding him to go out of the palace just so she could have a few moments to herself without wondering if he would cheat on her, again, but that would only make matters worse. He was probably mad at her, maybe even furious and she didn't want to create a bigger argument than the one she was sure they would have in the morning. He most certainly didn't care about what she had said and would try so hard to either change her mind or force her into crowning him no matter what. He wouldn't use Mary against her to achieve his plans, would he? She had been terrified of something like this happening since she had got the news of her newfound position of power a few weeks ago because she knew him. If he really wants her out of the way he'll end up doing it, she was sure of it.</p><p>Henry would not come tonight to her bed, he would probably remain awake for many hours thinking about what she had said but she wanted to be with someone, she felt in danger and lonely, and so she opened the door and asked one of the maids to send Thomas in, that she had some things to discuss with him. Catherine grabbed her robe from the foot of the bed before sitting in front of her vanity watching her reflection; her hair was in a bit of disarray, her hairpins all over the place and locks out of the intricate hairdo falling down her back. Slowly she undid it, brushing her raven locks carefully while her eyes locked with the ones that stared up from the mirror. Her lips were slightly swollen but apart from that she looked perfectly normal on the outside, on the inside she felt horrible. At the sound of the door opening she turned slightly on her chair watching as Thomas entered the room. He had a deep hurt glow in his eyes, but he bowed politely at her which made Catherine feel even worse about the events that had transpired just a few minutes ago.</p><p>-You wished to see me?</p><p>-Please. – she extended her arms in his direction as her eyes filled with tears. She was just so tired of everything and the only one who seemed to bring some kind of happiness was Thomas, Henry only brought pain.</p><p>-Your Majesty?</p><p>-My name is Catherine. Please Thomas.</p><p>-What's wrong Catherine? I heard you and Henry in your study. I thought you would be happy. – he kneeled in front of her taking her hands as he saw the tears fall slowly from her eyes.</p><p>-We shouldn't have done anything, I know. I feel horrible about it already Thomas so don't make any comments.</p><p>-But isn't this what you wanted? For Henry to go back to you?</p><p>-Yes, for Henry to come back to me, but this isn't Henry. I was right Thomas, I was right.</p><p>-Right about what? Catherine, tell me, what's wrong?</p><p>-What I told you about on the ship, what I suspected Henry was doing… I was right.</p><p>-He told you?</p><p>-He insinuated that he had the right to be crowned King and have power over my kingdom. He wants it and I know that if I don't do something about it he will get rid of me to get it. Why is he doing this Thomas? He wasn't like this before.</p><p>-I don't know. He's changed and not even I can understand what he's doing no more. He's a different man Catherine.</p><p>-I gave him what he wanted, I've slept with him and I know it was a mistake. He'll think that we are going to do it over and over again, that I've gone back to him, that he'll have his way with me and that's it, back to square one. I hate this Thomas, so much.</p><p>-You are exhausted, why don't you try to get some sleep?</p><p>-But I haven't seen Mary since we got here.</p><p>-I checked on her after I left you with Henry and she was fine, asleep in Lady de Salinas room. But if you want her to be moved here, I'm sure it can be arranged.</p><p>-Maybe tomorrow, let her sleep for now, you know how restless she's been in the past few days because of wind.</p><p>-Of course. Do you want me to do something else? Maybe I could stay here while you read or pray. It might make you feel safer.</p><p>-I didn't say I felt in danger or…</p><p>-But you do, don't you?</p><p>-I… How do you always know what's in my mind?</p><p>-I don't know, I just do. You feel threatened by Henry, don't you?</p><p>-Right now, I don't know if he's going to… I said some things to him in the mist of it all and I might have upset him greatly.</p><p>-What did you say?</p><p>-I told him that I was the one in control now and that he was no longer my priority. I gave him two options; he either stays and changes his ways or he can go back to England, but if he does, he'll have to face the consequences.</p><p>-Consequences?</p><p>-I know, I know… It was so stupid of me Thomas.</p><p>-What did you tell him?</p><p>-That I would stop all the imports and exports and decrease his income because I'm still Queen of England. Please, don't say it, I know you are thinking I'm stupid.</p><p>-I don't think so. I agree with you on what you've told him. He has to understand that when he does things there are consequences and that he has to face them on his own. Maybe it will open his eyes.</p><p>-I hope so because I'm getting tired of fighting with him. It feels as if I'm punching a stone wall all the time. He wouldn't try to hurt me or declare me mad like they tried to do with my sister, would he?</p><p>-There's still the baby, yours, not Anne's, and if you give him a son, he won't be able to push away, and if he tries, he's not thinking about the people. The English love you and if they saw that they King is trying something against you and the future heir they could start a rebellion.</p><p>-That's the last thing I want to cause. I don't want to hurt Henry, you know that.</p><p>-You are too good for him. If I were you, I would hurt him to teach him a lesson, but I don't quite grasp what you are trying to do to him.</p><p>-I thought I knew that I was trying to ignore him and make him want me and what have I been doing in the past few days? I'm just so confused, tired and stupid.</p><p>-Stop calling yourself stupid Catherine. You are the smartest person I know, the most beautiful, kindest and fairest as well. If you don't want to continue doing this with Henry maybe you should consider some sort of agreement.</p><p>-You mean sort of like break up even though we'll still be married?</p><p>-Yes. You'll be allowed to live your own life and he'll have his, but you'll still be Queen and his wife. Maybe you could think about it.</p><p>-No, this is not a question of being Queen or not. I love him and if I did that, he could try to have an annulment in bases that I had left him and taken the children with me and knowing the Pope as I do, he might do it.</p><p>-The Pope is on your side; I hope you know that.</p><p>-I do, but he's a very traditional man and he could grant it just because I'm here and Henry is in England. I'm going to try and save my marriage even if it's the last thing I do. Call me stubborn but I was raised to be his wife and Queen and I'm not throwing all that out the window because I want to finally have a relaxed life with my children and I most certainly won't have my children being called bastards in favour of Anne's. I accepted when I married Arthur that I would not have a tranquil life but all that went out the window when Henry proposed because I thought that with him things would be different. He was the brother; he was never really meant to have the crown and out of the blue he had me and a kingdom. After the first miscarriage I went back to thinking that my life was never going to be a calm one and then little Henry happened, and nothing has been as before since then.</p><p>-It's your own decision and I will be beside you. Whatever you think it's the right thing to do for you and your life I'll accept it. It pains me greatly to see you like this, but you loved Henry enough to jump into the sea to save his life, and that's not something many people would have done. I would have jumped into a volcano for Alice.</p><p>-But she never told you that your marriage was a lie and it had never existed because it wasn't legal. Thomas, I've seen him turn into this blood lusted creature that goes around beheading people just because he wants to. I'm scared for Mary and the baby I'm going to have because what if he sentences them to death? He can't touch me, I know it, even though he could kill me in many other ways, but I'm not important. Thomas, please, protect them. If something were to happen to me please, hide them, make sure Henry can't hurt them.</p><p>-I will, don't worry Catherine. And I'll make sure you are safe as well.</p><p>A knock on the door disturbed them, Thomas pulling his hands away and standing a few feet away and Catherine turning back to her vanity, picking up her handkerchief to dry her face as a maid came in, the young girl looking scared, white as the dead.</p><p>-Your Majesty, please, come, hurry.</p><p>-What is it? – the reflection of the girl in the mirror made Catherine think that something was wrong with Mary.</p><p>-It's his Majesty. He's screaming and throwing things in his chambers. Lady Clithering tried to calm him down but he threw a goblet at her. She has a nasty bump on her forehead.</p><p>Catherine quickly got up, her robe ruffling against the stone wall as she ran to Henry's chambers. As soon as she turned the corner, she heard his voice, loud, and the sound of things falling and breaking. If he had suffered from these episodes of anger before Catherine certainly hadn't known about them and it disturbed her greatly that he thought he had the right to make such a scene just because for once someone said no. Shaking slightly she pushed the door open and if it hadn't been for Thomas' quick reflexes a tray would have fallen right on her face, but it hit him right on the back. Catherine quickly pushed Thomas aside to look at the scenery that laid before her. Most of the furniture had been pushed around the room or knocked over, goblets, trays and decorations on the floor, some of them broken. Henry's face was red and his breathing rapid, perspiration dripping down his forehead and chest his shirt ripped hanging from his shoulders, his eyes fixed on her figure.</p><p>-Get out!</p><p>-What on Earth is going on here?</p><p>-If you don't go, I'll kill you! – Henry picked a shattered piece of glass from the floor and pointed it at Catherine, blood dripping from his hand. Thomas was about to put himself between him and her when he felt her hand pushing him behind her.</p><p>-What ails you Henry? – she took a few steps in his direction, Henry not moving from his spot with the sharp glass.</p><p>-Get back or I'll kill you! Go!</p><p>-I didn't mean to upset you this much but I can't change my mind or what has been said.</p><p>-I'll kill you Catherine! Get the hell out!</p><p>-Kill me if you want Henry. – her voice was calm and steady as she stood right before him, her head held high but her eyes smiling sadly at him. – What has been decided can't be changed.</p><p>-You can change anything you want! You are the one in control, you said so stupid bitch! – he jumped over her, the glass on her neck as he grabbed her wrist with his free uninjured hand.</p><p>-Kill me if you want Henry but know that you'll be killing your future son or daughter as well. I won't use the child against you, but he or she deserves to live. If you really want to kill me, get rid of me forever so you'll be free to marry whoever you like, wait until the child has been born to do it. His or her life is more precious to me than my own.</p><p>Henry held her for a few seconds before he loosened his grip on her wrist. Catherine carefully reached for the glass, slowly managing to take it from his bloodied fingers and throwing it to the other side of the room where it shattered to really small pieces, small droplets of blood falling over her pale skin. Now that they were almost a few inches away she saw that his face was wet, streams of tears running down his cheeks, his body trembling. It took him several seconds to realise that he had let go of her hand and walked backwards towards the other side of the room.</p><p>-Henry, stay where you are, you are going to cut your feet if you move.</p><p>-Why are you being so difficult?</p><p>-I'm not being difficult; I'm doing the right thing. Please, sit down, I want to look at your hand.</p><p>-I don't need your help.</p><p>-Well, go outside so the maids can clean your room, at least. You can't walk around broken glass.</p><p>-What do you care? Just leave me alone!</p><p>-Is that really what you want? To be left on your own? – Henry paced up and down, kicking things with his feet before he sat down on the floor in the middle of the room, his head resting on the palm of his uninjured hand.</p><p>Her shoes made very little noise as she walked to him the sound of glass being crushed underneath her feet the only noise that could be heard over Henry's breathing. Blood was dripping from his hand onto the floor, but he was too numb to actually feel any physical pain; his heart felt as if it had been ripped from his chest. He always assumed that she would be beside him forever, that she would stay with him no matter what but she had actually told him he was free to go, free to go back to England with Anne and his future child but she would punish him for it. She had given him a choice, what he had always wanted even if she remained his wife and Queen to the eyes of everyone else, but he couldn't let go, she made him feel safe and loved, and even if he jumped from woman to woman she would always be there to help him back on his feet. At the end of the day she would be the one waiting for him.</p><p>-I don't want to see you… Just go Catherine.</p><p>-I'll go after I've had a look at your hand. It could get infected and I'm sure you don't want that to happen. – she sat next to him but didn't touch him, she didn't want him to push her away or start yelling at them all, throwing things again.</p><p>-You'll let me be after you've looked at it.</p><p>-Alright. Thomas, would you bring me some cloth and rum?</p><p>-Shouldn't we call for a doctor your Majesty?</p><p>-That won't be necessary. I've dealt with things like this before. Please, Thomas.</p><p>Reluctantly he pushed everyone away from the door and walked swiftly to the kitchen, Henry, on the other hand, had not moved a muscle and for Catherine that was a bad sign. He was bleeding quite a bit and he didn't even seem to realise what was going on, not even acknowledged that she was right next to him. Carefully she tried to touch his hand, but he pulled away with a hiss. After a few seconds she tried again, this time managing to take hold of his wrist, his warm and sticky blood making its way to her fingers.</p><p>-Can you open it for me? Henry, I need to see your cut. – slowly he opened his hand, a deep and long cut gracing his entire palm. – This must hurt, and it should be stitched, so I will do as Thomas asked and call for a doctor in the morning. In the meantime, I'll clean it and bandage it, is that alright?</p><p>-Do what you want. I don't care.</p><p>-I think you should spend a few weeks in solitude Henry. Maybe you should go to Segovia. There's a secluded castle there that's used for hunting in autumn. I'm sure you'll like it. You can take as many English servants as you want, I don't have trouble communicating with the staff, but you might.</p><p>-Do I have a saying on this or are you still ordering me about?</p><p>-I'm giving you time to think Henry. You can leave whenever you want and return once you've made a decision. – Thomas placed a bowl with water, some cloth and two bottles of rum next to her making his way to the door but staying there, just in case she needed something else and to make sure Henry didn't try to hurt her. – Can you put your hand in the bowl for me Henry?</p><p>-The water is warm. – it stung a bit as the transparent liquid turned red in the matter of just a few seconds. When Catherine pulled his hand out of it, she saw that the cut was indeed deep and would require stiches, but she was glad this time she would not be the one doing that.</p><p>-This is going to hurt and I'm sorry, but I need to clean it. Just stay still. – opening the bottle with her mouth she poured the Ambar coloured liquid over his hand; he muffled his screams with his free hand, sweat dripping from his forehead as she emptied half of the rum. – The worst is over Henry. I'm just going to bandage it and then I'll go.</p><p>-Why do you want me to leave?</p><p>-I don't want you to leave, but it's the best for everyone. You need time to think and I need time to sort things out. In the long run you'll see that it's the best option.</p><p>-Am I not enough? Now that you are Queen you think you can have whoever you want?</p><p>-Not everything is about that Henry. I will not engage in another stupid argument because is going to take us nowhere. I've told you; you can leave whenever you want and return once you've made a decision, and regardless of how much it might hurt I will accept it because this is no longer about us. I've got a daughter to think about and my own people to take care of. With all the pain in my heart I have to choose what's easy and what's right and you are not easy at all. There, you are settled for the night. Please, don't make any more scenes, I'm quite tired and would like to get some rest.</p><p>-I didn't ask you to come. I don't need your stupid help.</p><p>-I know you are more than capable, but I'm your wife, and even if it pains me, I don't like seeing you like this. Think about this Henry; what if Mary were older and saw you like this? She would be so upset.</p><p>-She's a baby, she can hardly keep her eyes open after having had her milk. How on earth is she going to remember this?</p><p>-This is why I want you to leave and be on your own. Mary is your child as well, and sometimes you make it look as if you hardly know who she is. Call for the doctor in the morning and pack your things. I won't be here by the time you wake up.</p><p>-You do want me to leave! You want to be on your own with Thomas?!</p><p>-How dare you? I won't allow you to call me a whore Henry. You are leaving tomorrow and that's final. I can't have you around anymore. I just can't, and believe me, it's breaking my heart more than you think. I'm sorry. You can say goodbye to Mary before you leave. - Picking up the bowl, the cloth and the bottles she made her way to the door her breath shaking as she tried so very hard to keep her tears at bay. – Believe me Henry, this is going to be way harder for me. I'm sorry, really, I am.</p><p>Walking all the way to the end of the corridor she left the bowl and the rum on a very worn out wooden table that was covered in a very thin blanket of dust. Thomas was behind her, his hands on her shoulders feeling her body shaky as tears stained the dusty table. Suddenly she pushed him away and took the half-emptied bottle of rum, taking a very long sip before she put it back down and locked herself in her room, her sobs loud through the corridor.</p>
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